Grief

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Navigating the Trials of Life
By Dan Langerock

We go through so much during the span of a lifetime: multiple illnesses, grief, loss of relationships, and just life as it changes around us. When these changes come separately, they are a lot easier to handle than when they come in bunches. But let them come all at once, say over the course of six months, and it is just too much to bear.

I see people, as a chaplain, who have hardly been sick during their lifetimes, yet now they are trying to navigate a lot of changes in their lives at once. There is no time to adjust as each one come along, but rather several are dumped on them in a short period of time. How is a person supposed to manage under such stress? We ask, "Why is this happening to me?" "What did I do to deserve these circumstances?" "Where is God in all this?" "Does God or anyone care?" At times, our faith may falter or leave altogether. We may be bitter against God and life in general for the rest of our lives because of what happens to us.

People carry around this hurt for years and eventually it affects their well-being physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They may even forget on a conscious level why they are resentful, but it is still lingering in the subconscious. It is interesting that people will tell me, "I don't remember what started this resentment". But during the course of our conversation the reason comes out clearly. It is right there on the surface and they are not aware of it.

One woman felt guilty because the child she had been caring for had died. It was not her fault, but yet she hung onto the condemnation for many years. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) can haunt parents for a long time and sometimes causes a divorce or worse. When things such as this happen, we need to talk to a counselor or other trained professional who can help us sort out our feelings and deal with them.

We are not meant to carry this load alone. We need friends and others who are willing to listen during these times. We should not relegate these feelings to our subconscious to try to work out, but deal with them openly so they will not hurt us later on in life. Just as with unforgiveness, these traumas affect us in ways we may not comprehend, and may misdiagnose them as something else. These feelings also slow down the healing processes for other illnesses.

God is willing to help you through these onerous trials of life. He will not turn you away when bad things happen. It is okay to ask these heart-rending questions, but then listen for His answers as you pick up the pieces with his help. He loves you very much and will never forsake you when your trust is put in him.

Be At Peace
Do not look forward in fear to the changes of life;
Rather, look forward with the knowledge,
that God will lead you through all things.
Do not worry about what may happen tomorrow.
The same everlasting Father, who cares for you today,
Will care for you now and every day.
He will either shield you from suffering,
or give you the strength to bear it.
And, when you think you cannot stand it anymore
He will carry you in His arms.
Therefore............Be At Peace
Put aside all anxious thoughts.
Trust the Lord and He will see you through.
Author Unknown

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