Humor

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As a young person, I tried to escape my father’s influence. However, one day, and I remember it quite well, I heard my father speaking though my voice. What a scary thing.

For some reason I thought I would be a whole lot different from my father. As a young person, you expect to grow up and be different. However, the nut does not fall far from the tree.

I well remember my father always giving me advice whether I asked for it or not. I promised myself that I would not do that. I would be more understanding and lenient with my children when I had them. That worked very well until I had children of my own and I automatically turned into my father.

I often went to my father to ask for money. What kid hasn’t approached his father for some spending cash? But my father had a unique idea about money. He honestly believed that money was to save. His favorite saying was, “A penny saved is a penny you don’t spend.”

I had a radical idea about money and I really don’t know where it came from. It certainly did not come from the paternal side of the family. I foolishly thought money was to spend. “What did you do with the dollar I gave you last month?” he would ask me. “You didn’t spend it all, did you?”

Getting anything over on good old Dad was difficult. My sister, brother and I did manager to pull one on him. Only once. My father worked two jobs to make ends meet. Often he would come home and head straight for the sofa in the living room. We would wait a few minutes until we thought he was just about to go to sleep. We then would come into the living room and softly ask, “Dad, can we have the ice cream in the freezer?” Sleepily he would mumble, “Yea, yea, just let me sleep.”

When Dad got up from his nap he went to the freezer for his ice cream only to find it gone. “Where’s the ice cream,” he demanded? “You said we could eat it, Dad,” we all chimed in. “When did I say you could eat my ice cream?” With the innocence of children we proudly said, “While you were sleeping on the sofa. We asked you and you told us we could.”

Dad looked at us with eyes to kill and said, “don’t you ever ask me anything while I’m sleeping.” Then he walked out mumbling something to himself. That was a rare moment when we had one on Dad.

When it came to discipline, Dad was from the old school, which meant he believed in the biblical admonition, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” You can believe me when I say there were neither “spare rods” around our house nor any spoiled children. My father never heard of “Time Out.” Time out to him was when I was unconscious on the floor.


What I would like to know is, where were these people advocating “Time Out” when I was getting the “rod?”

Before our spanking Dad would always preface it by saying, “Now, this is going to hurt me more than it does you.” More than once I wanted to inquire where. Where did it hurt him more than me? I knew exactly where it hurt me and how much. I was not convinced the pain was reciprocal.

Dad’s weapon of choice for administering disciple was the belt. Dad wore a thick leather belt, all he had to do was begin to slowly unbuckle it and I would freeze in my place. I knew what was coming. Once, trying to teach me something or other, I’ve forgotten, he told me to go and get a switch from a tree out back. I knew I was in for a good one this time. Dad was so furious he needed some time to cool down, which was the reason he sent me out for the switch. I did something I never, ever tried again and brought in a very small, thin twig. I thought maybe the humor of it would soften the blows. Let me just say, I would far rather get the switch myself than let Dad do it. He was too enthusiastic about the whole matter.

The humorist, Mark Twain, once wrote of his relationship with his father. “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in 7 years.”

In these later years, I have been astonished at how much my father really knows. But the strange thing is to see him in me.

A verse of scripture that exemplifies my father is Ephesians 6:4, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Many times Dad would say after a spanking, “Someday you’ll thank me for this.” It may be a long time coming, but Dad, thanks for the discipline and the memories. Have a happy Father’s Day.

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