Grief

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The Unfamiliar Territory of Grief
By Dan Langerock

We may have gone through many losses through death of our loved ones and friends during our lives, but each loss is new territory. Each person meant something different to the person who is grieving, so consequently we grieve for them in a different manner. If you have gone through 10 losses, it does not make it any easier than just going through one.

This idea is especially true if you have had several losses over a short span of time. It feels like someone has punched you in the stomach a number of times, leaving you reeling and gagging for the air of understanding. I cannot say to you "I know what you are going through" because each person is uniquely different, and therefore experiences their grief in no set way or pattern. Some people feel a loss deeply, while others hardly seem to be affected at all. I can relate to their having a loss in their life but I cannot equate the depth of their feelings with my own.

A chaplain is there to allow the family to grieve however they choose. He is a sounding board for all sorts of ideas and comments expressed at this time of deep sorrow. He must encourage this grieving to help the healing begin, respecting their beliefs and culture in the process.

Yes, we all have traveled the road of grief to some extent, but each person has experienced that road in a different way. Although the concept of grief is familiar to some, it is still an unwelcome companion to intrude in our lives. We know we have to go through grief, but we try to delay thinking about it until we need to.


So, we know grief is out there somewhere, but we push the thought away, hoping it will not make itself known to us in a personal way. We try to push the idea away that the need for grief won't happen to us or our loved ones until the moment arrives. We think that if we deal with it in this manner, death and grief will not know our address, but they can happen to anyone because they are not a respecter of position or person.

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