Encouragement

---

The Fear of Letting Go

Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.] – John 14:27

The pit in your stomach, actually a little higher up behind your ribs, the burning behind your eyes and nose that threatens to release the flood of tears and the unease that starts to move throughout your body before your mind is attacked with a barrage of possible scenarios; does this sound familiar? Fear.

I am a Christian and I sometimes struggle with fear. My fears are not related to God not being God, or even Him not doing what He says He is going to do. Most of my fear stems from how other people may hurt me. Can you relate?

Fear is a fact of life. How we face it, respond to it and resolve ourselves to stand in spite of it can become the challenge.

Debilitating fear can catch you like a deer in the headlights. You can’t move or breathe, you’re frozen and it seems impossible to go any further. It can literally rob you of your future if you allow it to.

I am not referring to clinical phobias. I am just talking about fear.

Have you ever been hurt so badly by someone and forgiven them only to turn around and have it happen again? Have you ever felt like Charlie Brown, thinking that maybe this will be the time that you actually get to kick that football? I mean, Scripture tells us that we are to forgive 70x7 times in Matthew 18:22.

The worldly saying says, “You always hurt those you love the most”. But that is completely contrary to Scripture. How ironic then that the very people that stand behind the worldly phrase in turn throw, “Aren’t Christians supposed to forgive and forget”, right into your face?

Forgive, yes, we are to do that, it is a choice that we have been taught throughout Scripture, God would have us to make. Forget? I have yet to find anything saying that God requires that of us. Forgiveness is a choice we have to make. Forgetting is not just a choice.

Forgetting is a constant walking out, away from and lying down before God. It is a process, a learning process. But who decides what you should forget?

If you tell a child the burner on the stove is hot, even swat his hands when he doesn’t listen and then he touches it anyway, what happens? He has learned a painful lesson. What would happen if he forgets?

Let me ask you a question. Have you been hurt, cut to the heart, by behaviors of someone you love, be it a spouse, child, relative, or friend? Have you continually forgiven them? Are you shocked and surprised when they do the same thing to you again? WHY?

Which part of forgiveness in Scripture has been taught in a way that you believe forgiveness equates putting yourself back into the same situation? Hey, in case you missed it, the burner is hot!

Please do not take this as a justification to walk away from everything and everyone in your life that hurts you. But are you before God with all of your relationships?

I confess that I have been so angry at God for not “protecting my heart”. I have blamed God for “allowing” others to hurt me. I have fumed at God for allowing things to happen in my life while I was serving Him. How dare He?!

What exactly was my problem? I was making God accountable for other people’s behaviors, especially if it wounded me.

You see, God is God, but in His sovereignty, the same freedom of choice that He gave to me, He gave to those around me. So, why, do I think it’s acceptable that He gives me the freedom to choose, but not them? I blamed God for the hurt that someone else caused me, because God gave them the same freedom of choice!

But that’s not all! I took it even further. Now, I couldn’t trust God because He allowed someone else to hurt me so drastically! And I was and am a proclaimed, spirit-filled, faith based, Bible believing Christian.

Wow! I’m sure that makes non-Christians everywhere, want to jump onboard the Jesus train right? I doubt it! But it was the reality of where my pain had me.

What is the weight of the damage here? Well, first of all, I thank God for grace. He showed me that in all of my “great faith”, I was lacking and that my vision was screwed up! That’s a starting point.

Jesus says in today’s Scripture, “Not as the world gives do I give to you”. But that is exactly what I was focused on and how I was comparing His love towards me. I was making the failure and hurt caused by the “Christian” who was supposed to love me, God’s failure. I was reflecting the world’s broken attempt at love onto God.

God didn’t do that to me. The world did. How could I make that God’s responsibility? “Well, He’s God isn’t He, He can stop it”, is what someone might say. You cannot make God responsible for people’s choices, no matter how badly it hurts.

Sometimes it is hard. I visualize myself being stretched somewhere in space. I get thinner, almost transparent, threatening to be torn in two. Holding on to Jesus, but afraid to let go of whatever sort of security it is I think I have.
Somehow, for people, even a bad situation, is at least familiar. You know what you’re up against. You’ve been through it before, so at least you can make it through again, right?

For Christians and non-Christians alike, I believe there is a gnawing fear. They want to believe everything about Jesus, that He will be there, but what if He won’t do it for them? They want to trust Him, but the world is full of people who proclaim to be His, and they seem to have no more victory than anyone else.

What hope is there then? Look to Him. The first part of Hebrews 12:2 states:
Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]

Yes, God has given us brothers and sisters in Christ. He has given us spouses, children and loved ones. But none of them is the Author of our faith. If you want to know about Him, go to Him. Build a relationship with Him. Only then will you be able to see it is safe to let go, because He does not give as the world gives, and that is a good thing!

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE