Family
In the last four articles we have laid some groundwork for building a successful family. In this articled I want to start getting into more practical teaching for each member of the family. Since the husband is to be the head of the house we will start with him.
Our starting text is Ephesians 5:25-28: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”
This passage tells us how the husband is to love his wife. The Greek word used here means a self-sacrificing love. The Lord is our example. As He walk on this earth He devoted Himself to the needs of others, in particular to His disciples. His disciples made up the first church in Jerusalem. His love is seen most in His giving Himself on the cross to save us from the consequences of our sin.
This example shows us that no sacrifice on the husband's part is too great for his wife. It means much more when he gives himself for his wife in life than to give himself in death. Putting her first in everything is the best way to demonstrate his love.
The husband is responsible for all of the needs of our family. I Timothy 5:8 gives us the basic principle: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
The context is speaking about taking care of widows in the family. The scope includes all of the provision for the family, including all members. It starts by meeting physical needs like food, clothing, shelter, etc.
It also includes meeting their emotional needs. A husband must love his wife more than anyone except the Lord. This love should be tender and sensitive. This is hard for many men, but it can, and must, be learned.
He must also provide for the spiritual needs of his wife and family. Religion is not just for women and children. The husband must be the spiritual leader. He is responsible to ensure that his family know the Scriptures. He is responsible to keep them in a good Bible-believing church.
The husband is responsible for the safety of his family. He should defend his wife and children to death if necessary. He should be ready to defend his home from all dangers. He should be ready to defend his nation also. This quote from a newsletter I subscribe to expresses this principle. "A citizen who shirks his duty to contribute to the security of his community is little better than the criminal who threatens it."
Let me say a word about the issue of self-defense. Many think Christians, as lovers of peace, should not defend themselves. Anyone who studies the Scriptures knows this is not true. God's children are to defend their families and communities (Nehemiah 4:17-18). Even Jesus' disciples were armed (John 18:10).
The husband's relationship with his wife is to be according to knowledge (I Peter 3:7). This means he must know the Word of God. He must know how to bring his wife and children to salvation. He must know his scriptural responsibilities toward his wife. He must know the scriptural principles of raising children. He must know the Scriptures well enough to teach them to his family.
The husband is responsible to know his wife. He must know here needs, physical, emotional, and spiritual. He must also know her strengths and weaknesses. Remember, she is a help meet, or fit, for him. Her strengths will often offset the husband's weaknesses.
The husband must honor his wife. To honor her is to hold her in high esteem. A husband must never belittle or run down his wife. To honor ones wife is to honor oneself. When you praise your wife you speak of your good taste in choosing her. When you speak ill of her you speak of your lack of wisdom. Your wife should never be the object of a joke to make others laugh.
Remember she is the weaker vessel. She is not a lesser vessel, but a weaker vessel. It means that she is less adapted to the rough and stormy scenes of life. Her emotional side makes her more prone to worry and anxiety. I know this is not a popular statement but there is ample proof. I am old enough to remember when heart attacks were for men. I had an aunt who died of a heart attack in the late 1940's and it was an almost unheard of thing. The number one killer of women today is a heart attack. This is a new thing that started when women started working outside the home.
The husband and wife are heirs together of the grace of life. They share in the blessings of God. It is His grace that carries them through the trials of life together. God graciously gives us a spouse which strengthens us. Knowing that we have the support and comfort of our spouse us in life gives strength. The loving understanding of our spouse helps us overcome our faults.
Husbands need to remember that their relationship with their wives has an effect on their prayers. If a husband wants his prayers answered he must be right with God. God gives very specific commands for his relationship with his wife. If his relationship with his wife is wrong, so is his relationship with God.
It never ceases to amaze me when I see people who cannot understand why they have so many problems in their lives. They ignore the precepts of God and still expect God to answer their prayers and to bless their lives.
Husbands have great responsibilities toward their wives. The key to meeting these responsibilities is to love their wives as Christ loved the church. As He gave Himself in life and in death for her. Husbands must give themselves for their wives. Remember that the way we treat our wives reflects on us. Also remember that a wrong relationship with our wives will hinder our prayers. It behooves us to know and practice the scriptural precepts God has given us if we want a happy marriage.
Dr. Pierre Coovert was saved at the age of 17 over 50 years ago. He has been a missionary, pastor, and evangelist for more than 30 years. He is greatly concerned about the state of modern Christianity and his desire is to see Christians return to the righteousness of the Scriptures. See his blog at http://awaketorighteousness.com
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