Humor

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Down In U-ville
©
by

Stephen A. Peterson


During his long life as a children’s writer, Dr. Seuss wrote in an attempt to explain to children the mysteries of life. Following the destruction of the World Trade Center and damage to the Pentagon, it is this author’s belief that Dr. Seuss would have written the following story to explain this senseless destruction of property and loss of human life to our children.

Once upon a time, there were U’s living in U-ville. Every U down in U-ville loved the U.S. a lot. But the Binch, who lived Far East of U-ville did not. The Binch hated the U.S. The whole U.S. Now don’t ask me why, for nobody can say for sure. It could be his turban was screwed on too tight or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright on his bald spot. But…I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart and brain was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart, his brain or his turban, he stood facing U-ville—the part that was urban.

“They’re doing their business!” he sneered from his lofty perch.

“They’re raising their families!

They’re going to mosques, churches and synagogues!

They’re leading the world!

They’re a superpower!

They’re giving people food, housing and trying to bind the wounds of past enemies!

Their society and way of life is thriving!

Bah—hum—bug! He shouted.

I must keep the S’s and U’s from surviving!”

Tomorrow, he knew, all the U’s and the S’s would put on their pants and shirts, blouses and skirts. They’d go to their offices, schools, mosques and playgrounds. And abide by their U and S values and rules. And then they’d do something he liked the least of all. Everyone U down in U-ville, the tall and small, the young and old, the yellow and brown would stand all united—each U and each S and they’d sing U-ville’s anthem: “God Bless Us! God Bless Us One and All! God Bless You and God Bless Me!”

All around their twin towers of U-ville, they’d stand and their voices though small in stature would drown out every sound in the land and world.
“I must stop that singing” the Binch said with a gross green smirk. Then he had an idea that might work!!!!

The Binch, on his tippy toes, went to A-vile to hire 19 slow brains to steal 4 planes for 10 bags of Oreo cookies and Vanilla wafers. They crashed the planes right into the twin towers.

“They’ll make a disaster!” he snickered so sour.

“And how can they sing when they can’t find a tower?”

The Binch cocked his Satanic ears as they woke from their sleeping. He expected to her U’s wailing, screaming and crying in pain. Instead, he heard the most unpredictable thing. He heard a small whimper that built up to loudness. It was singing. It was singing without the towers!

The Binch stared down at U-ville, not trusting what he was hearing. What he saw was shocking and disgusting to his gross green heart. Every U down in U-ville, the tall and small, the old and young, the yellow and brown all around the town was singing! They did it without the towers.

“How could they do that! he bellowed.

The Binch hadn’t stopped U-ville from singing its song. For down deep in the hearts of the young and old, yellow and brown, tall and small those towers were standing called LOVE, SELF-DETERMINATION and FREEDOM sound from every voice and tongue. And you can’t smash the towers U-ville has inside them!

The U’s circled their sites where their heroes and heroines fell. With a hand in each hand, the small and tall, the young and old, the yellow and brown mourned their looses while knowing that they will cope and fly to greater and greater heights inspite of the Binch and his wretched little Binches. For the U’s still have that U pride, the U hope and the U love for freedom.

U-ville means more than just tall towers. It means more than wealth or power. It means more than their enemy could ever guess!

Where is the Binch? You ask! Well, the Binch is hiding in a deep cave trying to block the music from his gross green ears as it presses down on his gross green body.

So may God Bless U(S)-ville! God Bless You and Me! God Bless America!

Soli pro Gloria Dei!

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