Marriage

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Marriage Real-ationship

14House and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but a wise, understanding, and prudent wife is from the Lord. -Proverbs 19:14 AMP

How precious is it to know ladies, that we, who either are or will become a wife, are a gift from the Lord! Have you ever read James 1:17?

17Every good gift and every perfect (free, large, full) gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of all [that gives] light, in [the shining of] Whom there can be no variation [rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [as in an eclipse]. AMP

Can you absorb that? Wait a minute. Just because you are a wife, doesn’t make you a gift. There is a description: wise, prudent & understanding. And where do you get wisdom? Oh, being prudent is not acceptable in today’s society, I may have already lost you with that one word and understanding; most of the time conditional.

Why are fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce? You can answer that. I just wonder if you are willing to do what it takes to not be cast among those numbers. There is hope. There is always hope; because God has said so. The real question is, are you truly committed enough to do what it takes? I promise you, it is worth it!
David and I have both given each other Biblical basis for divorce. We have been through hell and back. I cannot more adamantly state: we have been there, and it wasn’t pretty. You don’t know what it’s like until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes. And if our journey can save someone else the trip, to God be the glory!

For years I prayed, Oh God change him, let him know You. God why can’t he understand? God let him see. God, I am a great communicator, why doesn’t he understand me? God help him, help me, can’t you see how hard I am praying? Does any of this sound familiar? I was beating my head against a wall, a heavenly wall maybe because I was praying, but a wall none the less.

I turned to friends (in the church), women’s groups where we all talked about how alike our husbands were and continued to encourage one another in our “prayer perseverance”. Oh how very Holy and enduring we were. Let me ask you, is it really Holy if there aren’t results? It’s like playing house when you’re a child in your pretend kitchen, it all looks great and fun, but in the end, there is nothing in the pot.

David and I very literally dropped to rock bottom. We loved one another, but were hurting so badly, that we could only reach out to one another from behind our selfish protection. We were actually told by Church leadership, we should divorce. Christian counseling was no better. They lacked the faith in the Word to believe healing and deliverance was a “thing” for today. Their recommendation? Go to another support group where everyone sits in the cesspool of defeat and “shares” it with one another. No thanks, we were in a cesspool of our own and wanted out, not to hunker down and have a group pity party!

What changed? How I prayed. God gave me grace and mercy and understanding. I was furious at God! How dare He ask me to pray to change me and how I saw things? I was serving Him! Was He kidding? I have quite literally thrown a flat out, spoiled brat, scream at God hissy fit. Believe me; I know He loves me, because He didn’t strike me dead. You laugh, but I know and God knows how bad it was.

My life, my marriage, my future was hanging in the balance and how it turned out was going to be based greatly in how I responded to what God was placing before me. Doesn’t God have an easy button? Why wouldn’t He just press it? Oh, I know He could, but why wouldn’t He? Did I really want it badly enough to change myself? That would waiver from day to day.

There were times I would seethe in prayer. There were times I would bawl out prayer with my face on the floor, I couldn’t get low enough to the ground as I was feeling. There were times I loved and hated David at the same time. But God knew my heart.

I believe in prayer. I believe prayer does move mountains. I believe God even understands when we pray in ignorance. I also believe God honors that and brings us to a place where we have the choice to grow in it. God will never force us to choose one way or the other, but He will give us the opportunity.

God needed to change me first. You never really know what is inside something until you give it a good squeeze. I didn’t like what was coming out, that was for sure, but I definitely wanted it out!
I had to learn how to pray for my husband; truly for him and not for me. I had to pray that I would communicate in a way that he could understand. I had to pray that I would understand him. I had to pray to cover him and our marriage (but isn’t that his job, I would ask God). And in all of it, I had to not throw God or the Bible in his face. Kind of hard for Christians.

You want to talk about being humbled? I didn’t like it at all. I didn’t understand why God would require this of me. I had been praying for years! This wasn’t fair! Oops. Reality check.
Life is not fairy tales and romance novels. Get over it. But nobody can write a story as beautifully as God. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith.

God had to change me, to see David. There is requirement and commitment on our part. You can’t just say it and walk away from it. You will set yourself up for a lifetime of hurt. Sometimes God does press the easy button. But more often times not.

If God is willing to bear with us, through our lifetimes, as we are His bride, are we not in turn, to be willing to bear with our husbands and they with us?

God knows who they are and the plans he has for them. Do you really want to be, one (one flesh)? Do you really want to fight for what God has for your marriage? Make no mistake about it, it is a fight. But the battle isn’t with your spouse. It is for him! And victory is sweet. Are you ready for a Marriage Real-ationship? You get what you ask for, and God is with you every step of the way!

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