Poetry

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I started out as less than
Less than complete
Lacking in love
Less Self Esteem than I needed
Wanting and needing more
Constantly searching
Constantly reaching

I grew up in age alone
Filling those areas of lack
With more pockets of empty
If you smiled at me, I wanted you,
If you flattered me, I needed you
If you filled my life with superficial words

“You are beautiful”
“You are sexy”
“I love You”

Then you became all that was missing
Until what you evolved into
Was ……….
more pockets of empty

….Confusion

How your fulfillment soon became nothing

Growth

Realization that your fulfillment was anti
Was not
Was a façade
Was phony

What I needed
Was realilty
Was truth
Was God

God

Still areas of lack
Still pockets of empty
But now
If you smiled at me…it was just a smile
If you flattered me, they were just words
If you spoke superficial words
I realized
That they were there for a moment
But Gods words were there for a lifetime

The word “love”
Now has to show action
Has to be long suffering and kind
Has to be patient
Can’t fail
Love never fails
God never fails
God is love

Change

Negative to positive
Speaking those things
That be not as though they were

Now Speaking life
Into miniscule people
So that the lack that I experienced
Can be replaced in their lives
with Gods love
Through my love

So that I can be long suffering patient and kind
Never will they feel
required to accept pockets of empty
to fill in
areas of lack

Sick

Less than
In another way.
Not complete in my body
Not whole
Why me

Pain and issues
Can’t breath
More issues
Why

Faith
Remembering Negative to positive
Continuing to speak those things
That be not as though they were

Now replacing the frustration
With advocacy
Knowledge and awareness
With dance

Become

Giving of myself
Dealing with pain
Using movement
To disguise
All moments of hurt
Disappointment
Memories
That could interfere with my change
That would attempt to hold me back
From changefrom growth
From giving

As I dance
I become
All that God has for me

As I dance
I can see
All that God plans for me

As I move
I experience
All that God wants for me

In God
I live and move
And love

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