Apologetics

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i never knew that loving you can be as painful and as hurting this way
because i have no one to confess to
and that is all because of how i love you

hearing you name is one of the stones that my heart cannot afford to hold
for your love is like an everlasting burden to my heart

i dont want to confess
i dont want to come to terms with the fact that i love you
but love forces me and i cannt take it anymore

i have no choice but to tell you that i love you
but i again, i cannot afford to love you to loose you

i love and god knows i do
but i cannot push myself to the limit tha i will have the courage to stand before you and confess
that is why i have these tears running down my chicks today

i seriously love you but
there are measures that i cannot take
there are lines wich i cannot skip
there are borders wich i cannot jump

because loving you will be like a duty to my soul and spirit
loving you will be like a new curse of love
loving you will be like a new mission of life
loving you will be like a new dream of thought
loving you will be like a new taste of medication labeled future enemys
loving you will be like a spell wich no man ever broke before
so
i feel like a loser not telling you how i feel about you each and e eryday
i feel like a looser not being able to share my moments of life with you
i feel like a loser not being able to stand before you like a man
i feel like a hipocrit not being able to stand before you and tell you three simple words ;i love you'
i feel like i am trapped when for each day i am not able to make you see me like a lover
and i feel like a stupid convincing myself each and everyday that you are my friend
i feel like nothing

i think of lying
but what if the lord wants me to confess
i feel like holding the truth from you
but what if my destiny is to tell you the truth

what if the lord made you for me?
what if the lord made you to love me?
what if the lord gave me you and i cannot afford to keep you
but what if i cann,t have you?
what if?

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