Humor

---

I have made my share of mistakes and if the truth were known, I've used up at least two other people's share as well. What I'm going to do for the rest of my life is still uncertain.

Let me get this point straight: Some mistakes have not been my fault. And since some were not my fault, why should they be counted as "my" mistakes?

Take last month, for example. Right up front, I want it known it was not my fault. I just sort of got in the way when they were handing out the credit, that's all.

I am all for taking credit where credit is due, but I don't have any left on my credit card.

Last month my wife and I went out for a well-deserved evening repast at our favorite restaurant, the Slurp N Burp Café.

My wife and I were savoring an evening of gentle repartee around the table enjoying our late night regale. Everything went fine. In fact, I did not even spill anything on my tie, which is a major accomplishment.

Not being in a rush, my wife and I leisurely finished our meal off with some coffee. Ah, there is nothing like a steaming cup of Java to settle a meal. Of course, the restaurant likes it when you settle the meal with cash.

"Never fear," I said removing my credit card from my wallet and handing it to the waitress. I never leave home without it, but I have left home without other things, such as cold, hard cash.

It was one of those relaxing evenings where nothing like that really matters. We were relishing such a carefree mood. The week was over and my beloved and I were merely enjoying each other's society.

In a few moments, we would be in the car headed for home. It had been, up to this point, a perfect ending to a marvelous week.

I do not have too many marvelous weeks. I probably could count them on one hand.

Typically, if anything can go wrong during my week it usually does. However, this week was one of those rare, perfect weeks. (Knock on wood.)

I am cautious about using the word "perfect" when referring to anything I do, but there was just no other way to describe my week.

As I said, we were waiting for the waitress to return with our credit card receipt so I could sign it and head for home, sweet home.

My wife saw the waitress first. "She doesn't look too happy," she whispered.

There is a time to say something, but mostly the times in which I live call for nothing to be said.

To my credit, I said nothing. It turned out to be the only credit I had that evening.

"I'm sorry," the waitress moaned when she got to our table. "I am terribly sorry."

At this point my wife and I were not sure what problem was causing her so much grief. In a few moments, we would learn what the dilemma was and then it was our turn to be in agony.

It seems the credit card machine somehow ate my credit card. How much do you charge a restaurant for eating your credit card?

Do you serve it with coffee or ice tea? Ha, Ha, Ha!

My good-natured jesting (and I was in rare form) did not amuse our waitress.

I think a little humor can lighten up a dark situation, but she did not bask in my lightheartedness. She was facing a serious problem: Who is going to pay for this meal? She looked straight at me.

That's when it dawned on me. (Hey, I don't have to be hit with a Mack truck.) I was in a little more trouble than our waitress. I opened my wallet and realized I did not have the cash to pay the bill.

Have you ever noticed when you have plenty of cash in your pocket your credit card works fine?

Just go out sometime without cash and see if your credit card works.

I think a conspiracy exists between my wallet and my credit card. They sure must get a wry chuckle out of these situations.

I did not have the cash to pay the bill and my waitress just ruined my credit card. Sure I could forgive her, but who was going to pay for the already eaten dinner?

And, by the way how much do you tip a waitress when she ruins your credit card?

I looked into my empty wallet, looked at our waitress and smiled. She did not return my smile. (Why she kept it is beyond me.)

I looked at my wife and smiled. How many dishes will I have to wash for this meal, I pondered to myself?

Then I broke down and did what no man in his right mind (and try to find a man in his right mind) likes to do. I turned to my evening companion and asked, "Do you have any cash on you?"

With my wife's help, I was able to give the waitress both the money and a little forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an important part of the Christian experience. The Bible states, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9 KJV.)

Because God has forgiven me, I can forgive others. Thankfully, there are plenty of opportunities each day to practice the fine art of forgiveness.

Rev. Snyder's new book, "Romance Around A Parsonage Fireplace," is now available. www.jamessnyderministries.com for details.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE