Christian Living
October 19, 2011 – Failure in the Family
4 Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord [the only Lord]. 5 And you shall love the Lord you God with all your [mind and] heart and with your entire being and with all your might. 6 And these words which I am commanding you this day shall be [first] in your own minds and hearts; [then] 7 You shall whet and sharpen them so as to make them penetrate, and teach and impress them diligently upon the [minds and] hearts of your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up. – Deuteronomy 6:4-7 AMP
Parents, the charge here is simple. We are to train our children diligently to live for God. This has become a major failure over the years in our society, and it is hardly the fault of our children. The responsibility for this breakdown falls solely on the shoulders of parents.
This passage says first and foremost that we, adults and parents, are to love God with all our mind and heart, then in turn we are to pass this legacy on to our children. The biggest failure, even for Christian parents, has been that we have not loved God with our entire being and with all of our might. We are so busy with the “things” of life such as work, paying bills, watching television, social networking, our children’s sporting events, going to church, and even putting aside time to “find ourselves,” that God has not only moved to last place, but He also doesn’t even have an appointment on our schedule. If our lives show through all these events that we don’t love God, how in the world are we going to teach our children how to do it? I know… we can take them to church and put them into someone else’s care to take care of that which we have no time for. Then they will be able to love God with their heart and mind, right? Enter failure number two.
If you don’t understand where I am coming from by now, let me share a little secret with you. Your children, whether they are two or twenty, are not awe-stricken when you load them up and take them to church on Sunday morning. They are not miraculously different after attending a youth conference. They are not going to live a life for God by going to children’s church. They are who they are because of you and your spouse. You can put on all the ties and shiny shoes or just dress neatly at one of those “come as you are” churches, but your children know exactly who you are. They will not be trained by some children’s pastor doing magic tricks or even by a hip youth pastor who is seemingly able to reach your child in a way you never thought possible. You and only you can effectively train your children. If you have to wipe the dust off your Bible before you go to church due to lack of use, don’t expect anything different from your children.
As a parent, your only solution to these failures in your family is involvement. First, you must choose to be involved with God. He must come first in your life. Turning off the television or even missing a midweek church service to do this will not be the end of the world. God always wants our first and best. When we truly give ourselves to Him, involvement in the lives of our children is a piece of cake. The important thing to remember is that we cannot make it a two step process. The time we have to impress godly values in our children is short. Trust me, I know from personal experience that they go from potty training to college in what seems like just a couple of days.
I have some practical suggestions to help you in involvement with your children. First, limit their time on the computer. Their social networking at a young age should be done with you and your spouse and with God, neither of which require a computer. Second, talk to them more than you ever have. You may find out some things about them you didn’t know, and having a personal relationship with God will prove a lasting resource for you when giving them advice. And third, insist that they go to church with you.
When I say that children go to church with you I’m not by any means suggesting that you go to the Baptist church after you drop your children off at the Methodist church. Many churches have different services for children and adults, and some even have a separate service for teens as well. Your children should be in the same service as you are. I base this premise on a child named Eutychus in Acts Chapter Twenty, a boy who scholars estimate was between eight and fourteen years old, was in a service with his parents. He heard the same message as the parents. Our children should hear the same message we hear today as well. In taking our children to the same service we as parents enable ourselves to answer questions from our children that may arise later. Trust me; you will be very surprised to find out what kinds of questions a six year old can ask.
The simple truth is that we must get our families back on track. We cannot be so self-absorbed in our own lives that our children are put in front of a television or told to use the computer. It’s a sad state of affairs but there are Christians in the world who think their church membership, their Jesus fish on their car, and their freshly dusted off Bible on Sunday prove that they live for God and love their family. Now I am by no means saying that you don’t love God or your family, but I am asking you one question: do you love them enough not to fail them?
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This is right on time for me as I am having issues with my teen. A much needed word. Thanks for sharing. God bless.
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