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Tough Luv

by Lisa Kartos
10/17/11
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In marriage, people are so quick to give up. With selfishness leading our lives, we care only about what our mate can do for us. We focus on it, to a painful extent. Instead of taking that thought and energy and investing it towards showing love to our significant other (whether they deserve it or not), we hone in on their negatives and crush them down even further. Encouragement, building him back up, is what your partner really needs; in fact, this is what you vowed when you married him. Not so ironically, you only feel worse after cutting him in his open wound. Unlike the grand sense of power and relief you might expect to feel from saying exactly what you wanted to say to him, your spirit weighs you down with guilt and anger. (Amazingly, if you build up another person's spirit, your spirit wants to soar with his spirit.) This day and age, its all about what the relationship can do for us, what we'll get out of it.

Younger generations always want to hold out for something better, something bigger, someone better. Every decision we make, we fear that we're "settling". That idea is preposterous. Its not about the job you land, or the square footage of your house, how much money your partner has when you catch his eye; rather, its about commitment, the follow-through on life. We all learned in tennis, that if you don't follow through on your swing, your ball will either slam into the net, or soar far beyond the boundaries of the court. Same goes for life. Without the follow-through on your experiences and tries, you'll end up losing the match.

Why not try to make the best out of any circumstance life throws at you, what's to lose? A woman I take care of had a profound statement that caught my attention. I asked her how her day was going, she said "good" and then turned to me and said, "I always have good days; If you don't, its your own fault". What a mind-opening idea. We are not victims of extenuating circumstances; instead, we are in control over our own choice to be happy or not.

If we never stick through the difficult times of a commitment, (ie. marriage, job, dream) you will never accomplish something of worth. Dabbling in six different relationships, giving up when times get tough, will never yield the pure union of two souls, as was intended with marriage. If God wills it, spending your life with one person is one of the most trying, and therefore rewarding experiences life can render.
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