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by Amanda McClung
05/29/04
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I am Yours, and You are mine

Even at the end of time

I trust in You.

I am safe in Your arms

Safe from all the worldly charms

I rest in You.

Chorus

I praise You, Lord

You have heard my cry for mercy

I rest in You, Lord

For You alone can save me

Oh, I praise You, Lord

Forever, I praise You, Lord.

Bridge

I would’ve lost all my heart

But You have set me apart

I want nothing but You.

Chorus

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Deborah Porter

30 May 2004

Hi Mandy. Stopping to comment this time - as a writer, singer and song-writer. First of all, I think I remember reading in your bio notes that you are involved in the music team at church, so I'm wondering if you've put music to this yet or even have a melody worked out in your mind? I always find commenting on lyrics, like this, a little hard without knowing how you envision it being presented. Having said that though, just some personal thoughts as I read it and imagined a melody with it. I actually like the first two verses. They show a real heartfelt love for the Lord - the first verse in particular is simply lovely. My only comment would be to make it "I'll rest in you." Then for some reason, I just felt coming into the chorus it needed a bit of something else in that second verse (or second part of the first verse, which ever). As I read it, I felt it needed something after the "worldly charms" to link it with the "I cry out for You". I think it's because you started by saying that you are safe in His arms, so the "I cry out for You" sounds like a bit of a contradiction in that spot. I'm actually wondering if the "I cry out for You" would work better in the first verse, and the "I rest in You" in the second ... just thinking as I go. In fact, maybe the "I am safe in your arms verse should be first, with the "I am Yours and You are mine" as the second. But either way, coming into the chorus I just felt it needed something to build and identify it - like, "Oh Lord, I cry out for You." The "I cry out for You" line really does need to be before the chorus because of the build up. LOL! Now I've got you totally confused. Hope you can see what I mean ... if you don't, let me know. Now for the chorus. I can imagine this really building up, and the first two lines work well. The third line felt a bit awkward because it didn't quite fit in with the first line (if you were following the same sort of rhythm). I'd leave the "Lord" off that line. The rest is good, up to the "Yeah", but that's just a personal thing. I'd feel more comfortable with the last two lines of the chorus being, "I praise You, Lord. Forever praise You Lord." With the third verse (or the second verse, depending on how you're working it - it felt more like a bridge and as a bridge, it could actually work quite well to go back into either the chorus
or the first or second verse. You could work it fairly easily, even with a key change on that "You" in that line "I want nothing but You". As a verse though, it doesn't quite make it - not quite sure why. It matches in length and is similar in style, but there's just something more bridgy about it (LOL) It has a real build up feeling to it. Anyway, hope that's the sort of feedback you were looking for. Overall, it's a simple, quite lovely piece that I can very easily imagine being put to music (in fact, I'm singing my version of it already) ;-) Good work Mandy, and as I said, if anything I've written doesn't make sense, please either send me a message or ask on the boards. with love, Deb

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