Humor

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Our shoulders prove God created us; we didn’t evolve. How do I know this? I know by observation coupled with intuition. If you will study people in places like church or doctor’s offices and pay close attention to their shoulders I think you will have to agree. Because shoulders don’t make sense apart from the deliberate, thought-out purpose of a Creator. Besides that they look ridiculous. God has a sense of humor lacking in evolutionary thought.

Elbows, I have heard it said, are the ugliest body part. Well, if that is true, then shoulders have to be the least artistic. A curved line is more pleasing to the eye than a straight one. Have you noticed how rectangular shoulders are? I mean here is this globe head, a stem of a neck, and then a pair of shoulders jutting right on out there.

Now if I wanted to get mental about it, I could cite some foolproof facts. For example evolution could never have known women would someday show up with 75-pound purses hanging from their shoulders by a single strap. To carry loads backs would be good enough. But God did. Also who but God could have predicted certain other articles of ladies’ clothing would simply slide off without shoulders to hold them up?

Then there are writers. Writers need to use phrases like, “John squared his shoulders and marched into the boss‘s office.” So where would writers be without God and shoulders?

But the best argument I can think of is crying? Crying by yourself is not as good as getting somebody else wet and people don’t weep on one another’s backs or hips, and usually not even on knees or feet, though sometimes feet. We require a broad shoulder to blubber upon.

Still I am of the firm belief staring at shoulders for long periods of time is the best convincer. But as a disclaimer I warn you this may creep people out whose shoulders you are staring at, although if you are as old as me, you can get by with it. Especially if you are well-dressed: they will assume you are rich and eccentric. If not, they will toss it off as Alzheimer’s.

Now if you are below the age of 80 sit at the back of the room at church or theater. Then people won’t know you are ogling their shoulders. I promise the longer you look at shoulders and meditate, the more convinced you will become only God could have thought them up.

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