Poetry
Drifting and flowing
on a cloud of love
Sleeping soundly in
the mercy of God
His compassion holds me
and dreams of what could be
float through my imagination
I see people bowing to each other
Aware of the goodness within
I see people
with severe disabilities
having the services they need
I see children
who are being abused
living with families who care
I see - oh my!
I see no bombs, no guns,
no wars because love and faith
has conquered all
hate and violence
My eyes slowly open and I
realize it was
only a dream
But- is it really?
What if we try and
take small steps
to make this dream a reality
Oh what a world it would be!
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I love the message and overall was written well. The one thing I would say is to throw in some more punctuation. I did see where there could be commas. I didn't really have a problem reading it, it was real easy to follow, but some commas could be used. Other than that, the poem was flawless. The overall message was truthful and great, and the words you used were very good. Also, the pause/break and after it, it says "oh my" I really liked that touch of surprise and reaction within the poem. Very cool.
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