Marriage

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Bill and June Sharp have been married for 22,046 days. For those of you who vowed to give up math after your last Algebra class in high school, that's over 60 years of bliss. I had the amazing privilege of leading my sweet grandparents in the renewing of their vows last summer as they celebrated their amazing accomplishment. It was a great day!

Ashley and I are quickly approaching our fourth anniversary. I have so much to learn about this marriage thing, but I do know that it's a good thing...a really good thing.

In fact, I believe marriage is one of God's greatest gifts to us. My life has become indescribably richer since the day Ashley walked down the aisle and met me at the altar. We were floating on cloud nine, and our faces could barely contain our smiles as we stood before God, family, and friends and declared our lifetime vows to one another. If that wasn't amazing enough, the next day we were on a flight to the Caribbean for our honeymoon.

I had to pinch myself to make sure this wasn't a dream. Was I really going to one of the most beautiful places on the planet with the most beautiful woman on the planet? Was I really going to get to stare at this "hot blonde" in a bikini all week? Was this really legal now? Of course it was legal, we were married. God pronounced it all good. I could feel the sting of the pinch. This was a reality.

Speaking of reality, anybody who has been married for more than two weeks knows that reality sets in. Marriage is not a continual honeymoon that two people enjoy until death does them part. Far, far from it. The honeymoon beach bodies don't last forever; neither does the feeling of pure giddiness. Developing and enjoying a healthy marriage is one of the biggest challenges that a man and woman will face. It's certainly not for the faint of heart.

The honeymoon was certainly surreal. So was the first time I found myself sleeping on the couch--for all of about 2 hours--until we made things right. As those first days began to become a memory, I realized that marriage was indeed a blessing--sometimes a blessing in disguise. Disagreement happens. Fights happen. Hearts can grow hard. The walls can be quick to appear. Couples can find themselves in a rut that is hard to pull out of. However, as long as Christ is alive, there is hope.

Ashley and I went on a date tonight, and it was one of the most enjoyable dates I've ever had. It was extremely simple, but extremely rich. As we drove to Chipotle, I said a quick prayer and invited God into the evening. I simply acknowledged His presence and asked him to make it a rich evening. He's good at answering simple prayers.

We sat on barstool type chairs, looking out on a busy sidewalk in downtown Colorado Springs. When I was able to pry my eyes away from this "hot blonde" sitting next to me, I enjoyed the perfect view of the sun setting over Pikes Peak. We flirted, laughed, talked, people watched, and enjoyed being together. It was--well, a RICH date!

A few hours before the date, Ashley and I both agreed to ask God what He wanted to say to the other person. After all, God is a Father. What father doesn't like to speak to his children? As Ashley was doing her hair in the bathroom, she asked God what He wanted to say to me. Meanwhile, I sat at the kitchen table with a pen in hand and asked God what He wanted to say to His daughter. Later at Chipotle, we shared with each other what we believed God was saying. It was anything but ordinary. It was deeply refreshing. It was a result of simply inviting God into an ordinary date.

Don't get me wrong, we're not about to write a marriage book. I have more to learn than I have to offer. My grandparents should write a marriage book. My parents, who will be celebrating their 35th anniversary this year, should write a book. That's not where we're at right now. But, we have stumbled upon a few things that have really helped us thus far.

First of all, we try and remember who is on our side. It's easy to forget that the creator of the Universe is in your corner. God is the biggest fan of your marriage. He created romance--you should have seen the sun setting over the peak--and He wants you to experience abundant life in your marriage more than anyone, including you. When you turn to God, you are opening the door for Him to pour life into your marriage. It doesn't matter how far off track you may think you are. He is still as committed as ever to lead you and your spouse into the marriage He dreamt of when He brought you together. He has the road map. He has the ideas. Your responsibility is to open the door to Him, and then trust what He is telling you to do. It may seem impossible, but as one of my favorite verses states: "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can think of or imagine according to His power that is at work within us..." (Ephesians 3:20). It requires faith, but then again, isn't it impossible to please God without faith? The more you are committed to pleasing Him, the more you will see the transformation happen in your marriage.

Secondly, we try and enjoy one another. It's easy to fall into a mundane and boring routine where we end up simply cohabitating together as we share a roof, a bed, and a toilet. It's easy to only relate to each other as the mom or dad of your children. We're learning the power and importance of intentionality. Marriage can be as boring or as enjoyable as Ashley and I choose to make it. God has given us a blank canvas and wants to help us create a masterpiece. His heart beats for us to create a marriage that reflects the love that Christ has for the church.

Lastly, we try and keep the "big picture" in front of us. Sure we're going to have many disagreements in the years to come. Sure we'll face temptations and accusations from the enemy. However, if we can be mindful of our "big picture" life goals--faithfulness to God and each other--it will be easier to forgive and easier to remain loyal in our marriage.

I think there's some truth to the old saying, "If you aim at nothing, you are sure to hit your target." My target is clear. In 56 years, I want to be holding hands with my "hot grey" wife and listening to my grandson lead us in the renewing of our vows.

That will be a great day.

That will be a rich life.

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