Marriage
The Gaze
Soon after choosing Jesus as Lord and Savior in our lives, my husband and I decided to attend a marriage class. We knew He would want to resurrect the dead marriage we had but we didn't know how to do it on our own.
On the first night, having taken our places as inconspicuously as possible, we settled in to listen to the leaders. The words were a blur as my heart watched the two of them take turns speaking. Whenever this man who towered over his wife spoke, she would turn up and gaze at him, drinking in every word he said. The respect, admiration and love that the woman had for her husband was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I thought to myself, oh that I could look upon my husband with such a gaze.
That was impossible I thought. I loved my husband, had forgiven him for the hurts of the past and even committed to remain married, but to respect him was just asking too much. I just couldn't. He had hurt me too deeply. But God asked me that night to look upon my husband in a new way. Not for who he had been but now because of the position he held in my life.
The Bible instructed me in Ephesians 5:33 that as a wife, I am to respect my husband. There was no condition clause there but a mandate. Because of the position my husband had been given in the role of husband, I am called to respect. This was huge for me. Respecting a man who had brought so much pain and anguish into my life? I asked God to show me how and He gently said, “Be obedient, trust me. I am faithful”. And so I chose to begin practicing purposefully to gaze upon my husband. Along the way my prayers were that God would give me eyes to see this man as He did. And He has been faithful. The more I gazed upon my husband, the more God showed me who this man truly was. And along the way, I have fallen deeply, madly in love with him.
A photo captured a precious picture of a bride’s father toasting the newly married couple. The towering frame of a man with his glass lifted in congratulations, his wife gazing upon him as he speaks every word. My heart is full when I look at that sweet picture, for in that picture the gazing wife is me!
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