Bible Studies

---

Then
they
utterly
destroyed
all
in the
city....
oxen,
sheep
and asses,
with
the edge
of
the sword.
[Joshua 6:21]
*******************
Time: Sometime,
in the near future.
Place: Throne Room
of the Lord.
_________________
(Knock!)
(Knock!)

[THE LORD NODS,
SOLEMNLY.]
"Come in,
My Joshua."

(A scraggly-haired,
long-bearded saint walks slowly
into the Throne Room;
he is wearing a long white robe:
over his robe is an
oversized-brown T-shirt,
one-hundred-percent-cotton,
that has a picture of a
big stone wall crumbling,
with a caption underneath:
'I SHOUTED AT JERICHO!'.
The saint's left eye is
all black-and-blue, and
his nose is all red
and swollen; his halo is
hanging limply, off to one side.
The saint is holding a
mound of soggy leaves,
up to his bearded face,
and is squinting.)
"My...LORD?"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
[CALM GAZE.]
[BECKON WITH ONE HAND.]
"Yes,
My Joshua."
[NOD.]
"What is
it."

(Scraggly-haired, bearded
Joshua slumps over to one of
the velvet pillows in front
of the Thrones, and kneels.
The fig-leaf-compress
in his right hand drips
onto the velvet-blue
material of the kneeling
cushion.)
"My..LORD?
This crazy LADY....
just came UP to me,
and PUNCHED me!
Really HARD!"

[CALM NOD.]

"SHE didn't even
SAY nothin',
my LORD!
She just...
walked up........
stood in front ME.....
looked down at my T-tunic.....
and,
then SOCKED me!"

[CALM NOD.]
[SOLEMN, PATIENT VOICE.]
"Yes,
My Joshua."
[SMILE.]
"I know."

(Joshua squints upward.
An angel is standing
beside him, with a 21st
century ice-bag. The angel
hands it to him, and points
up to his swollen eye.
Joshua nods, and wraps
the ice bag in the fig-leaf-compress,
and presses it up to his left
eye. The angel shakes
his halo'd head, and is
about to say something;
then he mumbles "Whatever!"
in Angel-Speak, and walks
away. Joshua stares
cluelessly at the departing
angel, and then turns back
to the Lord.)
"Who...WAS SHE,
My LORD?"

[SIGH.]
"One of your relatives,
My beloved Joshua."

"Uh, UH!
NO WAY!
She CAN'T be one
a' MY relatives,
my LORD!"

[CALM NOD.]
[SOLEMN GAZE.]
"She is one
of your direct....
descendents,
My beloved Joshua:
a close-cousin,
from your mother's
side."

(Joshua's scraggly-bearded mouth
drops open. One of the
fig leaves from the mixed-
century-compress falls out,
and lands on his tongue.
He spits it out, and then
sticks it back, impatiently,
into his Heaven-made compress.)
"I can't BELIEVE it!
ALL my relatives LIKED ME,
my LORD! Even my six SON'S-
in-LAW!"

[CALM NOD.]
[LOVING GAZE.]
"Well,
this particular one
...does not."

(Joshua shouts,
though not as loudly,
as when he had shouted
in front of Jericho.)
"She's a CRAZY LADY!
She was WEARIN' a
RED T-tunic, that said
"SPCA, SAN'TONIO,
TECHH'AHS"!
What's.....THAT?"

[SIGH.]
"Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty
to Animals."
[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"It was established
a few years after
the victory at Jericho."

(Joshua, tenderly
pressing the mixed-century
compress against his black-
and blue-eye, replies.)
"By WHOM,
My LORD?
The HITTITES?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"No;
the England-ittes*."

(Long pause.)
(Clueless squint.)
"What's a TECHH'AHS?"

[SIGH.]
"The Land of the Alamo;
it hadn't been conquered
yet, in your day."

"But......
WHY did she PUNCH me,
my LORD?"

[THE LORD, SIGHING,
PICKS UP A SCROLL
OFF OF THE MARBLE
END TABLE TO THE
SIDE OF THE THRONE.
HE OPENS THE SCROLL,
GAZING AT IT FOR A
MOMENT. POINTING
A FINGER DOWN ONE
OF THE SCROLL-PAGES,
HE NODS, AND THEN
HANDS IT TO THE
ANGEL WHO HAD JUST
GIVEN JOSHUA THE
ICE-BAG. THE ANGEL,
NAMED GYRIO, KNEELS
AND TAKES THE SCROLL,
KEEPING ONE FINGER
IN THE PLACE THAT THE
LORD HAD JUST POINTED TO,
AND THEN HANDS IT
TO JOSHUA.]

(Joshua looks at it
with his good eye,
squints, and then shakes
his head at Gyrio. The
big angel takes a pair
of reading glasses out
of his gauzy-gown-pocket
and hands it to the
scraggly-looking saint:
pointing up to his eyes,
again. Joshua says 'Huh?'.
Gyrio takes the glasses
from Joshua, and bending
down in front of the blue-
and-black-eyed saint:
slips them over his
ever-burgeoning-reddened-swollen
nose. Then, Gyrio points
to the scroll, again.)

(Joshua drops the
mixed-century-compress
onto Gyrio's big bare toe,
and then, squinting through
the reading glasses:
begins to read the Part
in the Scroll, which the
Lord has pointed to.
Joshua, never very good
in Hebrew school, reads
very slowly: mouthing
each hard-to-pronounce
word.)

(Silence.)

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

(Joshua looks up:
still squinting.)
"But......
my LORD!
WE were in the middle
of a BATTLE! A HUGE
WAR! A MISSION!
THEY were THE
BATTLE COMMANDS
of my LORD!"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
[SIGH.]
"That is a moot point...
with your Texas cousin,
My beloved Joshua."

(Joshua squints down,
to mouth each of the
hard-to-pronounce
Hebrew words,
again. Then he pulls
off the reading glasses,
rather awkwardly and clumsily,
squints up at them, and
hands them back to Gyrio.
Gryio hands him back the
mixed-century-compress.
The ice-bag drips some
water onto to the Aged
Scroll. Gyrio picks up
the Scroll, turns around,
kneels before the Throne,
and holds up the half-rolled,
dripping Scroll
to the LORD. Joshua winces
as he presses the strange
cold bag against his face,
again.)
"My...
...LORD?"

[LOVING GAZE.]
[SMILE.]
"Yes,
My Joshua?"

(Joshua squints, again.
His red-swollen nose
wrinkling up,
rather painfully.)
"What's a....MOOT?"

[CHUCKLE.]
*******************
And
Joshua
did
to them
as
the LORD
bade him;
he hamstrung**
their horses,
and
burned
their chariots
with fire.
[Joshua 11:9]

____________________
*The first SPCA
(RSPCA: Royal Society
for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Animals)
was established in
1824 in England:
in response to carriage
horses being beaten
during bad weather
to keep walking.
**Slicing through
the ankle tendons
of the horses.


Copyright 2011.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE