Humor

---

TIME STOOD STILL - ONE EMBARRASSING MOMENT


Unfortunately, my most embarrassing moment I endured alone – it was not shared by anyone, for by the time I realized my ludicrous adornment, the day had all but passed.
It was the spring of 1987 and my son was about to graduate from kindergarten. He was enrolled in the prestigious Breckenridge prep school where only Mercedes and BMW’s filled the parking lot, along with my black boat, an old Cadillac – the kind that only people over 75 would drive. How or why I ever enrolled him in that school, I have no idea as I consider it in retrospect! I suppose the baby boomer mentality that Breckenridge grads are automatically accepted at Princeton must have been a major motivating factor.

Hob-knobbing with the Mother’s Club was a bit different than I had expected. Instead of gathering for breakfast at McDonald’s to dream up fund-raisers, as I had imagined, we gathered at the Country Club to dream up ways to spend the school’s money. Clearly, I was out of my league. Nevertheless, it was a good school and I was determined that I would stick it out in the best interest of my son’s Princeton prospects.

Well, finally it was spring and a final field trip had been planned. All the mothers would caravan and bring the children to learn something about industry. It was determined that we would tour the local newspaper facility in an effort to truly help the children make the connection between verbal and printed language. I was thrilled! At last, something down to earth! I wouldn’t need to wear Donna Karon for once! The morning of the field trip was a bit chilly for that time of year, so I went downstairs to the closet in which I keep seldom-worn, but not-ready-to-discard clothing. Ah-ha! Perfect! My LL Bean yellow oxford with mallard ducks would be great with my khakis and loafers.

We arrived at the school where I couldn’t help but be reminded of the snobbishness of these women! I was happy, looking forward to a great day, while they all kept to themselves, sipping on coffee, waiting for the principal to instruct us to leave. At the newspaper facility, I began to wonder. Was it my imagination or were these women being particularly snooty today? The more clickish they behaved, the friendlier I conducted myself. What did I have to loose? It was the end of two arduous years of befriending those who wanted none. My son and I had a great time and on the way home I was so looking forward to his graduation, glad to done with this school for good!

Arriving home, I changed into my comfortable, gray sweat suit and headed down to the old closet to hang up the seldom worn oxford. As it put it on the hanger, it was then in horror that I saw it! My face flushed and I died a dozen deaths as I saw it – the culprit – the source of my rejection! It was sudden death and the great awakening all at once! I had forgotten that a year before we had had a yard sale and I had put a white sticker reading 50 cents on the top left of the blouse! There it was now – it seemed impossible – a frightful dream. Had I really and truly worn that blouse all day with my 50 cents tag staring boldly at the Volvo and BMW women of the world! Horror of horrors! Well, it’s over, I thought. Nothing could ever be worse. I have lived my most painful of days – everything ahead will have to be bliss.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE