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The Art of Dating and Relating Part 2

The Acquaintance Experience

I shared with you that there are 5 levels of relationships that we encounter on the earth.

1. Acquaintance
2. Friend
3. Boy or Girlfriend
4. Fiance/ Fiancee
5. Husband/ Wife

I also shared that an acquaintance is knowledge of a person less intimate than friendship. So in order for us to arrive at being classified as a friend we need to develop our relationship with another by increasing our intimacy with that person of interest.

Remember intimacy means that you have a close relationship with another person where you offer and are offered validation, affirmation, confirmation, understanding and a sense of being valued spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically and relationally.

There’s a biblical story that God pointed out to me in 2001 that really captures the Art of dating and Relating and that’s the story of Ruth and Boaz. Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi had the most tragic experience that any family could experience. Naomi and her husband and two sons left Israel because there was a famine in the land. Naomi’s husband died, leaving her with the two sons Mahlon and Kilion. They each married Moabite women, 10 years later they died and Naomi was determine to go back to Israel, her two daughter-in-laws also she told them to go back and remarry while they’re young. Orpah took the advice while Ruth was insisted on returning to Israel with Naomi (Ruth Chapters 1&2)

Overcoming the Wounds and Scars

I would like to preach and teach in length about the topic of overcoming the past scars and wounds inflicted by life’s tragedies. But I won’t be able to squeeze it in with this teaching on developing the acquaintance relationship.

However, be it as it may, one of the key things we can learn from Ruth is that her hope remain alive when she saw the strength of Naomi when her husband died first and when Naomi was returning to her people and her God and her land. Ruth said, Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried…(Ruth 1:16-17 NIV).

Ruth was hopeful and determined to move on with her life but notice it was with God’s people. So she was headed in the right direction. When we experience tragedy God and God’s people is who we should seek to be with not drugs or alcoholic substances.

In order to follow along with this teaching I recommend that you read part 1, then read Ruth chapter 2. I’m outlining chapter 2 focusing on the female perspective of being acquainted. The my next article will be on the male perspective of becoming acquainted.

The Female Perspective of Becoming Acquainted

1. Allow God to set a time and place to meet a new acquaintance (Ruth 2:1-18)

A) Naomi had a rich relative named Boaz.
B) She didn’t go after him begging for money.
C) She didn’t send Ruth deliberately to his field to glean (See verses 1-3)
D) Ruth didn’t sit home waiting for welfare or some kind of handout. She went to work to support her mother-in-law and herself. (What an awesome woman)! How can this apply to you? Let the meeting happen with no undermined sugar daddy, or quick to get rich mentality. It could happen in school, at the mall, the park, the zoo, at the beach, the gym, or any suitable place that God can use to bring you and the significant other together.

2. Acknowledge a guy whose living a bless life (Verse 4)

A) Not an illegal financially insecure life, but a financially secure man.
B) Boaz was a man of God not a stingy hard hearted man.
C) He walked and lived bless, and he bless others verbally and materialistically.

3. Allow him to inquire about you and your character when he asks’ people who will give him a reliable report (Verse 5)

A) Make sure you demonstrate a noble and honest character.
B) Your reputation will go with you where ever you go. Continue to walk with integrity.

4. If he's a mature and understanding guy he will inquire about you and trust the report he hears by his friends, associates and co-workers(Verse 6-7)

5. Once he gets all the info about. He'll come to you with sincere motives and intents (Verse 8-9)

A) Boaz came to Ruth on the basis of the report he heard about her integrity and willingness to support her mother-in-law. Most guys might be impress with the fact that you cook, clean, go to school, work fulltime or part-time and have a good family.
B) Although this might be a stressful thought or an overwhelming position men are impressed by the fact that your managing work, school, household chores as well as,financial support to your family. Men develop an interest in hard working girls. Boaz did toward Ruth.

6. When some guy makes his acquaintance to you, he should have the patience to hear you out (verse 8-9)

A) Be careful how you conduct yourself. Body language and verbal response can work for you or against you.
B) You can express negative attitudes or positive ones. For example, Ruth was caught off guard during her gleaning the crops. She didn't act like most would who will say your rich Boaz and your related to Naomi how come you just help her out or give her something instead of me breaking my back gleaning leftovers!
C) Ruth humbly under the hot sun and sweating bowed herself and spoke to him with the utmost respect.

7. Your new acquaintance should invited you to glean his field (Verse 8-9)

A) That is, he should allow you into his business
B) He should be a blessing to you to work along side with him.
C) Make sure that every little detail you need assistance in will be provided for by the level of support he could possibly give. Boaz had common courtesy. How about your new acquaintance?

8. You might be impressed and honored by meeting your new acquaintance with an inquisitive mindset as to why he's so kind?(Verse 10)

A) Christian spiritually mature men are well mannered.
B) Ruth being a poor widow was impressed and honored by the fact that Boaz expressed common courtesy.
C) You might be impresses and honored that some guy took notice of you.
D) Ruth was inquisitive. Why all the special treatment? You're just a poor, not a supermodel, not rich, not so educated, and so on complex. But don't let status get in the wait of getting acquainted because all people care about is genuinous. Be yourself be real.
E) Be inquisitive but not too suspicious. I know this is hard in todays world and for law enforcement people. However, inquire without the interrogative tactics. Being to defensive may spoil the acquaintance process. Especially if the guy is sincere.
F) What seems a lot to a poor girl is very little to a rich guy. I know about wealthy people I work with them for years building Mansions, penthouses and more... They do not shop at homedepot. A piece of imperial sheetrock cost $85 bucks. Homedepot doesn't carry these expensive items.
G) Spending a couple of grand for a rich guy means nothing if he's sincerely helping you. Especially if its to help out the less fortunate many wealthy people will give.

9. Your acquaintance shouldn't be intimidated by your questioning he should answer your questions as sincerely and clearly as possible. By it you can discern his motives and true intents whether they're right or wrong.

10. Consider the new acquaintances' choice of words and his ability to bring out words of exhortation about your character (Verse 10)

A) A sincere guy will point out your good qualities.
B) He'll know how to build your self-esteem.
C) He will be able to encourage you to continue in your integrity to be a hard worker.

11. A spiritual minded acquaintance will acknowledge God's blessing on your life and encourage you to walk in the blessings of God. And more blessings will follow if you continue in your integrity and trust in the almighty God (Verse 12)

12. You should respond to your new acquaintance accordingly. Express what you would like to do with him and what you think about him. Thank him for the complements and words of encouragement and his offers of courtesy.

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