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A Tear Better Than A Word?

by Larry Lilly
03/11/11
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Larry Lilly's Letter Monday March 14, 2011

I received word the other day that the Attorney General of Indiana obtained the full release of all rights to my book, "Lasting Friendships In 30 Days." This means that I can now resume full efforts to market this much needed book after a few revisions. I may have to write a bigger book on friendship as writing “Friendships” raised an awareness to the subject beyond my understanding prior to the writing.

Today's quote from Barbara Kingsolver is about friendship. I confess that I know absolutely nothing about MS. Kingsolver, but the quote is right on the mark.

"A friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away."

It is strange how when you start thinking about a certain statement from a friend, the Lord brings other statements to mind via a speech, a book or another offhand remark. Just yesterday a friend who is going through it said:

"Thank you very much for your friendship. It seems that friends are few these days. Either they have written me off or are just unsure of what to say in moments like this, so they avoid me."

I chewed on this lament throughout yesterday and night and early this morning (Friday) Barbara's comment leaped off the screen and into my mind and heart. I felt bad because I am one who knew just a little of my friends mess and that is what it really is, and even Loquacious Larry has been at a loss for words.

To be at a loss for words is a common experience and this loss and our reaction that attempts to cover our loss says more about us than the one to whom we are "afeared" to speak. A loss for the right word affirms our fear that we are not God. Only God always has just the right word, and thus "loss for words" situations force us to accept our very limited humanity.

Barbara speaks of a friendship deep enough to cast off the fear of being human and forging ahead risking uttering the "wrong thing." The point is simply, reaching out with a caring action can be more important than what is said. Chuck Swindoll told a story, the gist of which I share here:

"Little Mary came into the kitchen and her mother asked, 'Mary, where have you been?' To which Mary answered; 'I have been to Mrs. Jones trying to comfort her. You know Sally died.' Mary's Mother said, ‘Why, yes honey I know Sally died, but how did you comfort her mother?' Mary said, 'Mom, I just sat on Mrs. Jones' lap and we cried.'"

Often a tear is more voluminous than the Russian Encyclopedia.

Pr 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2011 Use with credit
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