Grief

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Letting a loved one go is hard enough, but if you don't know for sure where they're going when they die, that makes it even worse.

My mother has said she was not ready to see Jesus, but she has said she is at peace with Jesus. She has also said she does not want to die. She has said she does not want me to pray for her and she does not want me to read the Bible to her, but she has said she has "always believed."

She has been touched by my singing a hymn, but now she will not let me hold her hand or hug her. I asked God to bring her back for a little while but it does not appear as though He is going to grant my request. However, I must keep believing His promises, and believe that He hears and answers prayers. Not the way we want Him to sometimes. But it's His business.

The Bible tells us death is the final enemy that Jesus came to defeat. Why, then, are we so dismayed when it comes to a loved one?

Could it be because we are not ready to let our loved ones go? It has been said that if one is prepared to die, one is prepared to live. This has the ring of truth, for sure. Our own death we can handle, perhaps. But how can we be ready for the death of a loved one?

In the strictest sense, yes, one is ready to die, having believed in Christ and been born again. But is one ready for the process of dying? For one's self, this may not be at issue. Believers may know they can trust God with their own death as well as they can trust Him with life and therefore have no fear. But what about readiness for loved ones to die?

It is difficult seeing a loved one decline and face death, particularly if one is not sure if that person is really at peace with God. How can one know about the spiritual status of another? Sometimes dying people become disoriented or confused, and it is hard to know what they understand and what they do not. At that point, there is only one option for the believer in Jesus. That is to trust Him and His wisdom.

Jesus said when a person repented and believed they would be with him forever. But what if the person did not follow the Lord closely thereafter? What if they seemed confused and actually denied the Lord in later life? What if the worst case scenario is a possibility? What if your loved one has chosen to reject Christ? There are perhaps as many variations on that theme as there are individuals on earth. But, ultimately, every person has had many chances to choose Christ in the time God has given them on earth. If your loved one has repented, you must choose what to believe about it and leave the rest with God. We cannot save anyone. We can only love them and pray for them.

God has graciously allowed me to have good times and fellowship with Mom and yet I still am not sure. Grief sometimes comes in deep groanings and weeping but then God assures me all is well. In the end, He is all we have anyway, and I am only responsible for one soul: my own. The rest I have to release to God. Be encouraged, if you are losing a loved one. Know that God loves him or her more than you do and that He is completely merciful, just and true to His word.

Remember now, as always, to keep your mind fixed on Him. He is handling everything. Death grieves Him also. Jesus wept at the gravesite of Lazarus and He weeps with us at the loss of our loved ones. Rejoice always in the Lord. He is faithful even when we are not. Hold to the many truths of the Bible, but most of all, hold to Him. He will not leave you or forsake you. He is all wise, the Mighty Counselor and the Prince of Peace. Hold onto Him. Or, if you can't do that, let Him hold you, and release your loved one to Him.

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