Fiction

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He
had
no form,
or comeliness
that
we should
look
at Him,
and
no beauty
that
we should
desire
Him.
[Isaiah 53:2]
*****************
"Lord*,
was JESUS
HANDSOME?"

[CHUCKLE.]
[CALM VOICE.]
"Why do
ask,
Mein kin'der?"

"Well,
He is....
in the
MOVIES!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"Yeah;
I've seen THREE
movies about JESUS....
and,
in all of 'em,
the actor's a real
SHEYNU'KAH**!"

[A BURST OF LAUGHTER
ERUPTS FROM
THE THRONE,
TO THE RIGHT
OF THE FATHER'S.]

(Look up at the
ceiling plaster.)
"WELL?
WAS HE?"

[MORE LOUD CHUCKLING
FILLS THE THRONE
ROOM. A COUPLE
RED-WINGED BLACK
BIRDS, RECENTLY
ARRIVED FROM EARTH
AND HOPPING ALONG
THE EDGE OF THE
RIVER OF LIFE,
TAKE OFF IN FLIGHT
DOWN THE LONG
GOLDEN HALLWAY
TOWARD THE MAGNIFICENT
DOOR, WHICH IS BEING
GUARDED BY TWO VERY
LARGE, NON-NONSENSE-TYPE
GUARD-ANGELS. ONE
BEWILDERED BIRD
LANDS ON THE
SHOULDER OF AN
ANGEL KNEELING BY
THE THRONES AND
SORTING THE LATEST
ARRIVAL OF PRAYER SLIPS.
THE ANGEL MERELY LOOKS
UP AT HIS SHOULDER
SAYING, "BUNGEE!
SETTLE DOWN!"]
[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Read My
Word,
child."

"I HAVE,
LORD! BUT,
I'M A CHILD OF
THE 20TH CENTURY!
I WAS BROUGHT UP
ON MOVIES AND TELEVISION!
THAT'S ALL I KNOW!"

[PATIENT VOICE.]
"Child......"

"THAT'S IT,
LORD! THAT'S
ALL I KNOW!
EVERY JESUS ON
THE SCREEN HAS
BEEN THE TALLEST,
AND BEST-LOOKING
GUY IN THE VILLAGE:
A REAL CUTIE!"

[THUNDEROUS BURST
OF MORE LAUGHTER
ERUPTS AGAIN,
INSIDE THE THRONE
ROOM. BUNGEE, JUST
BEGINNING TO
SETTLE DOWN ON THE
PRAYER-MAIL ANGEL'S
SHOULDER AND
CLEANING ONE OF HIS
BLACK FEATHERS, NOW
TAKES OFF AGAIN FLYING
AROUND AND AROUND
THE THRONE ROOM.]

(Squint up toward
the ceiling.)
"What's goin' ON,
UP THERE,
LORD?"

[WIPING TEARS
OF LAUGHTER FROM
HIS EYES.]
[MORE CHUCKLING.]
"Nothing,
My precious."

(Stare upwards,
for a moment.)
(Squint, curiously.)
(Pause.)
"Yeah.....I think the
BEST lookin' one was
that actor Jeremy Sisto***;
what a CUTIE he WAS!
What a SWEETHEART!
OY VEY!"

[NODDING TO THE
PRAYER-MAIL ANGEL,
NAMED POSTAL-PETE,
WHO IS NOW KNEELING
FRONT OF THE GOLD THRONE TABLE,
AND PLACING THE SORTED PRAYERS
INTO A BIG WICKER BASKET.
ON TOP OF THE GOLD TABLE
ARE THREE GOLDEN BOWLS,
LABELED "YES", "NO", AND "WAIT".

"He was BLOND,
and had pretty BLUE
EYES,
Lord!"

[NOD.]
[ACCEPT ONE OF THE
PRAYER SLIPS FROM
POSTAL-PETE.]
[NODDING, CALMLY,
ALL THE WHILE READING
THE PRAYER-SLIP:
THEN HANDS IT
TO POSTAL-PETE
WHO NODS SILENTLY
AND PLACES IT INTO
THE "WAIT" BOWL.]

"The PROBLEM is.....
in these MOVIES...
the Jesus is always so
DISTRACTING...
that, it's hard to
concentrate on
anything... he's SAYIN'!"

[NOD.]
[READING ANOTHER
PRAYER-SLIP FROM
POSTAL-PETE'S BASKET.
READING AND NODDING.]

"Was He really
BLOND....with LONG
SILKY, STRAIGHT HAIR......
LORD?"
(Look up, again.)
"Or...was he dark?
And, had long, wavy brown
HAIR? And...did he really
have a Goyish'kah**** NOSE?"

[CHUCKLING.]
[PAUSE.]
[SIGH.]
"The only beautiful
thing He possessed,
My precious.......
was the
love
He had
for
you."
*****************
He was
despised
and
rejected
by men;
a Man
of sorrows
and
acquainted
with
grief....
He was
despised
and we
esteemed
Him
not.
[Isaiah 53:2-3]
________________
*Unless stated,
the author is speaking
to the Hebrew God:
the One a'top Mount
Sinai.
**Yiddish: 'handsome'.
***"Jesus

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