Short Stories

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And,
Jesus
asked him,
'What is
your name?'
He replied,
'My name is
Legion;
for we
are many'.
[Mark 5:9]
*****************
(It's a dark, stormy
night*. The sea is
a dark stormy green,
and rolling, really badly.
It's the Sea of Galilee.
The Disciples are all out
in the boat, except Peter
who is outside the boat
talking to the Lord. A
little ways away, the
Disciples' fishing boat
is pitching rather badly:
rolling and pitching....
pitching and rolling....)
*************************
(Peter shouts.)
"LORD?"

[CURIOUS SMILE.]
"Why are you shouting,
My Peter. I AM
right Here."

(Peter shouts, some
more.)
"YES, MY LORD!
BUT, IT'S REAL
WINDY, OUT HERE!
I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF
THINK!"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
"What is it,
My Peter."

(Shout.)
"LORD, CAN YOU SAY........."
(Thoughtful squint.)
(Stare up at the
dark gray stormy sky,
in serious thought.)
"......ATTA-TA...TATA?"

[CURIOUS, THOUGH
ALL-KNOWING GAZE.]
"Ah."
[SMILE.]
"You mean:
'ABRA-CA-DAH-BRAH',
Peter?"

(Shout.)
"YES, MY LORD!
YEAH! I MEAN....YES!
YEAH........THAT'S it!"

[SMILE!]
"Is it Matthew.....
again? Is he sick?"

(Shout.)
(Spit out some dark
green water.)
"NO, MY LORD!
HE'S OKAY......for NOW!
HE'S ASLEEP IN THE
BOTTOM OF THE BOAT!
I THINK HE WORE
HIMSELF OUT..
....THROWING UP!"
(Peter turns his head,
to glance back at the
rolling and pitching boat,
on the rolling and
pitching dark green water.)
"NO, MY LORD!
IT'S NOT MATTHEW!
IT'S.........EH........"
(Peter, spitting out some
more dark green water:
shakes his head and frowns;
he is totally soaked
from head to.....
well,....foot.)
"LORD.......IT'S THAT
STRANGE...... LADY,
AGAIN.....YOU KNOW...
THE ONE WHO LIKES
TO TRAVEL HERE,
FROM TIME-TO-TIME?"

[ALL-KNOWING-NOD.]
"Ah.......yes."
[SMILE.]
"My child from the
Land-to-the-West...
who comes to
visit Me.......
in her time-machine."

(Spitting out water.)
(Shout.)
"YES, MY LORD!
YEAH!
THAT ONE: THAT......
crazy....
STRANGE ONE!"
(Nod.)
(Spit out some more
water.)
"THAT one!"

[CURIOUS GAZE.]
[CHUCKLE.]
"What is she doing
out here......with all
of you....in the boat?
My child dislikes the
sea.....even more,
than Matthew."

(Peter grimaces.)
(He shouts, above
the pitching sea,
and mounting wind.)
"How did You
KNOW.......
MY LORD?"
(Grimace.)
"She's.......pretty BAD
OFF, MY LORD! I
DON'T THINK I'VE
EVER SEEN ANYONE
THAT COLOR GREEN,
BEFORE....
her face looks like
one 'a those APPLES..
that dropped off
the TREE,
TOO SOON!"

[CALM NOD.]
"Hm.....hm.
What is she doing
out here."

(Shout.)
"WELL......."
(Turn back, to glance
at the rolling, and
pitching fisherman's
boat, once more.)
(Turn around, and
spit out some more
sea-water, and
splashing rain.)
".....SHE SAID SHE
MISCALCULATED!
SHE WANTED TO LAND
OVER THERE......!"
(Point.)
".....WHERE WE JUST
CAME FROM: WITH
THE LEGION-GUY!
THE ONE WHO WAS
RUNNING AROUND
NAKED WITH ALL THE
CHAINS! THE ONE
WHOSE DEMONS YOU
SENT TO THE PIGS?"

[CURIOUS, ALL-KNOWING NOD.]
"Hm......hm.
And, why is that."

(Wiping some more
splashing, dark green
sea water from his brow.)
"BECAUSE.......!"
(Spit.)
"BECAUSE......SHE
WAS TRYIN' TO GET
HERE IN TIME TO
SAVE THE PIGS!"

[NODDING, VERY
CALMLY.]
"Ah.
I see."

(Shout.)
"YES, MY LORD!
YEAH! SHE PLANNED
ON JOURNEYING BACK
HERE........
JUST IN ORDER TO STOP YOU
FROM MAKING
THE BAD-DEMON-GUYS
FROM GOING INTO
THE PIGS AND
MAKING THEM DROWN!"

[SMILE.]
"And, how did she
think she was going
to accomplish that,
My Peter?"

(Shrug.)
(Wipe hand across
rain and sea-water soaked brow.)
"I DON'T KNOW,
MY LORD!"
(Shrug.)
"BUT.....SHE SAID
SHE WAS GOING TO
GIVE IT A TRY! SHE
SAID THAT EVERYBODY IN THE
FUTURE....ESPECIALLY
WHERE SHE COMES
FROM....IS VERY UPSET...
ABOUT THOSE POOR-PIGS
DROWNING!"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]
[NODDING.]
[LAUGHING.]

(Peter wipes his
soaked brow, again.)
"SHE SAID SHE
JUST HAD TO GO
BACK IN TIME, AND
TRY TO DO SOMETHING:
ANYTHING,
IN ORDER TO SAVE
ALL THOSE DARN,
MISERABLE PIGS!"

[NOD.]
"Hm......hm.
And, what happened."

(Watery-shrug.)
"WELL......."
(Shrug.)
"SHE SAID SHE'S
NEVER BEEN A GOOD
NAVIGATOR....AND,
THAT SHE GETS LOST
IN A ....PARKING-LOT..
WHATEVER THAT IS!"
(Peter speaks more
quietly.)
"She says that she
should'a BORROWED...
her friend's GEE-PEE-
ESP'T..........
whatever THAT is...!"

[CHUCKLE.]
"Hm......hm.
Hm, hm.
Well.....I do not
think that would have
worked here,
My Peter."

(Peter squints
really hard, through
the pouring rain,
and splashing sea.)
"Uh, huh."
(Clueless squint.)
"WELL......
SO.....NOW, SHE'S
ASKIN' IF YOU CAN
GO.......'ATTA-TA-TATA'!"

[NODDING.]
"You mean:
'ABBRA-CA-DAH-BRAH',
Peter?"

(Nod.)
(Grimace.)
(Peter wipes some more
sea-water off face,
with the corner of
his right, seaweed-
soaked-sleeve.)
"YEAH!
YES.........!
YES, MY LORD!
SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT!"
(Peter glances back,
again, at the rolling
and pitching Disciples'
boat. He shakes his
head again: grimacing.)
"I THINK.....
SHE WANTS TO GO BACK...
HOME...
REAL QUICK!"

[CALM NOD.]
"I see."
[NOD.]
"But, what about
the pigs. Doesn't she
still wish to try to
save them?"

(Watery-shrug.)
"Don't KNOW.
I THINK HER PLAN
IS TO GO BACK HOME,
REST A WHILE...and,
GET HER GUMPTION
BACK, AND THEN
TRY AGAIN!"

[CALM NOD.]

(Shout over another
windy and watery wave.)
"SHE SAYS SHE'S GOTTA
LET HER TIME-MACHINE
SIT OVERNIGHT....
TO CHARGE-UP...
WHATEVER THAT MEANS!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Ah.
I see.
Well........."

(Peter grimaces
again, rather
sorrowfully.)
"CAN YA DO IT,
MY LORD: SEND
HER BACK, FROM
WHENCE SHE CAME?
HELP HER GET HER
TIME-MACHINE-THING
BACK HOME?"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Yes."

"THANKS, LORD!
GEE.....THANKS!
I'M SURE THE
OTHER GUYS WILL
THANK YOU, TOO!
RIGHT NOW, THEY'RE
ALL READY TO GO BACK
TO THE LEGION-GUY...
RATHER THEN SIT
IN THE BOAT WITH
HER!"

[CALM VOICE.]
"He is no longer a
Legion,
My Peter."

"YEAH......
I MEAN.....
YES, MY LORD!
WHATEVER!"

[CHUCKLE.]
"You are beginning
to talk like her,
Peter."

(Nod. Nod.)
(Spit out some water.)
"YEAH!
I'M PICKIN' UP SOME
OF HER EXPRESSIONS....
AREN'T I?"
(Stare at the Lord,
for a minute.)
(Wave hands about,
in the rain-and-storm-
splashed-air.)
"So.......uh.....
Ya gonna do it.....NOW,
MY LORD?"

[THE LORD SHAKES
HIS HEAD, QUIETLY.]

(Peter squints through
the rain-soaked night.)
(Rain-soaked-sigh.)
"She's AWFUL SICK,
My LORD......I don't
know... WHAT PEOPLE
EAT.... where...she....
COMES FROM.....but...
it must be an awful LOT."

[NOD.]

(Sorrowful squint.)
"She's AWFUL SICK."
(Hopefully woeful squint.)
"SHE DIDN'T MEAN
TO COME HERE.....IT
WAS JUST BY
ACCIDENT......"

[NOD.]

"Ya know........
to help save those
darn PIGS....."

[NOD.]

(Rain-soaked-pause.)
"Ya ain't gonna DO IT,
huh: say 'atta-ta-ta-ta'......?"

[WISE GAZE AT
HIS DISCIPLE.]
"No,
My beloved Peter."

(Long pause.)
(Stare, rather hopefully,
at the Lord.)
(Pause.)
(Long sigh.)
(Spit out some more sea-water.)
"Eh.......are YOU
gonna TELL her
my LORD..?....
Or.......
SHOULD I?"

[CHUCKLE.]
*********************
Send us
to the
swine,
let us
enter them'.
[Mark 5:12]


___________________
*(The author doesn't
claim to be a
Dostoevsky. They are
both of Russian descent,
though...except, one is
Jewish and the other
was an anti-semitic.)


Copyright 2010.

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