Christian Living

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“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.” – Abraham Lincoln

This is one of my favorite quotes from what I believe is one of the last true public servants in our nation’s political history. I love it because it is so very true. Nothing will bring out someone’s true nature faster than giving them a position of authority over another human being.

I’m sure I don’t have to elaborate further on this point; we’ve all met that power tripping policeman or had a manager that was too big for his britches. What I didn’t realize until recently was power doesn’t just reveal these obvious character defects; it can (and will) reveal much more subtle flaws.

If you had asked me what my perception of myself was in the early days of my pastoring tenure I would’ve told you I was a sincere and humble servant of God who sacrificially loved his people and placed their needs above his own, sometimes to his detriment. That assessment wasn’t entirely inaccurate. In my early years, I was a sincere shepherd who deeply loved his sheep.

At the risk of sounding exclusionary, I firmly believe only another God-called pastor can understand the depth of love a pastor has for his flock. It is a difficult concept to convey to those who haven’t had that calling on their life. When most people look across a congregation they see a sea of faces they probably don’t want to spend much time with beyond the church service. But when a truly God-called pastor looks across their congregation they tend to see people through a different set of eyes. They see souls they would gladly die for in order to save them from danger or harm. It is truly a divine gift that can easily become a curse.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much time for a pastor to learn the hard way that his love of his people is not always reciprocated. It is a vulnerable position to be in, to be sure. It only takes a couple “Kurt” experiences for that sincere love of people to be scaled back and eventually hidden behind a protective psychological wall. Tack on a few years of heartache and that wall can become a fortress.

This is one reason why some pastors barricade themselves from their sheep. If you’ve ever met a pastor that was hard to connect to, before casting aspersions his or her way you might take a moment to consider there could be valid reasons for the gauntlet of secretaries and assistants between your pastor and you. Now, this statement is in no way excusing the hands off approach many ministers take to ministry. I am a firm believer that if a shepherd doesn’t smell like his sheep, there’s a problem. That being said, I can understand why some pastors are harder to contact than the president of the United States. Heartbreak is a difficult thing to overcome especially when it happens on a regular basis.

After many years of honest introspection I came to realize I had been hurt so many times that I had become hard hearted to the very people I was called of God to serve. Because of the actions of a few I had branded all Christians as potential wolves in sheep’s clothing. I would warily eye my flock and wonder when the next one would bare their teeth at me. When one of my sheep would try to get close to me I would push them away under the guise of a full schedule or other noble sounding commitments. The truth was I had become distrustful of the motives and actions of anybody who claimed to be a Christian. From a human perspective this reaction is normal and logical. From a pastoral perspective it is counter-productive.

It is difficult to base decisions on your flock’s best interests when you have this mentality locked and loaded. In fact, when a pastor does not have his flock's interests in mind, he will base most, if not all, of his decisions on what is best for him. This, ladies and gentlemen is the very definition of 'selfishness'. As I was to later learn, I had become an extremely selfish shepherd in order to protect myself from harm.

Lincoln’s wisdom had been proven true. The position of pastor had revealed some character defects in me that I was completely ignorant of. Unfortunately, like Moses, Elijah and Jonah, I was too blinded by my anger and disillusionment to see it. If the pastoral vacancy statistics are true then I believe I am not alone in this.

Does every pastor who leaves the pulpit fall into this category? Not at all. There are many reasons for the growing exodus of pastors and not all of them are negative. Simply put, not everyone standing behind the pulpit belongs there. But, for those who know what they have been put on this earth to do yet find themselves unable to continue to serve in that capacity, there are some hard decisions and even harder truths to face.

One of the enemy’s most lethal darts is victimization. There is nothing more empowering than for a child of God to become the victim of another’s selfishness. Humility can quickly turn into pride masquerading as righteous indignation. Mercifulness can instantly become vengeance masquerading as holy justice. Forgiveness can become anger masquerading as divinely inspired wrath. In short, if he is given the power to do so, the enemy of our souls can transform a sincere and humble servant of God into a bitterly angry, self destructive recluse sitting on a hillside begging for death for their perceived enemies or for themselves (see: Jonah).

Now that I’ve painted this lovely portrait, the next question on the table is, can this condition be reversed? The short answer is “yes”, but not without some very painful spiritual surgery. Like physical healing, the best way to combat this sickness of the soul is preventative maintenance. Fortunately, both the prevention and the cure can be found in the same place.

And that brings us to Proverbs 11:1…

(To Be Concluded)

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