Fiction

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Finish me off.

Take me under.

I’m drowning and crumbling. Watch me wash away.
In the silence of new morning, I am overwhelmed. In the beautiful depression of the incoming night, I am overcome. There is feeling, there is emotion, there is heart.

In the depth of this invisible heart, I am living.

And I am drowning.

I see your face, haunting me, I hear your voice singing in the night. I see faces and pictures in my dreams. Pictures of long ago and faces I do not know. My day is a wind catcher, filled with things unseen and buffeted by my dreams.

The empty is welcoming. Blank spaces, white colors and the contrast of black lace on whipped cream. Something soft, something hard, something there and something not. I am watching my life dribble by. I am watching it flicker and filter.

Finish me off.

Take me under.

As I drown and crumble, watch me wash away.

In the whispers of this jungle, beneath star-filled skies of hope, I can see an end. I can see something that I cannot reach—yet. I hold in my hand a shard of hope, a sliver of some precious reality. I hold in my hands, the key to fighting the insanity.

My heart aches and breaks in a single breath. I am aware and unaware of the ripples that come from such things. But I do know one thing. I have to let go, in order to give, I have to give up in order to live.

I have to breathe to know relief, I have to cry to empty what cannot be touched. In a memory, I am something. In history, I am nothing.

But to Him, I am everything, because to me, He is everything. I know my tears and joys are shared. I know He cares how I have fared. I know His echo is like a whisper, I know His smile will carry me on.

He’ll finish me off—to perfection.

He’ll take me under the shadows and bring me out above them.

As I drown, He will be my sustenance. He will never let me go and as I crumble, He will lovingly hold me together.

Always.

© Sara Harricharan

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