Short Stories
She felt nothing as she stepped into the garage and pulled the door down after her. There was no worry, no hesitation, no fear. The keys dangled languidly from her hands as she circled to the driver's side of the car. She was so tired. Only a few more moments, she thought, then I can sleep. Peaceful sleep. The windows started to sweat as the car heated up. She watched as the drops of condensation rolled down the car window in perfect harmony with the tears dripping from her eyes, and the weight of her despair intensified with each crystal drop.
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What's wrong with me? Lucas shook his head in an effort to clear the fog from his mind. Frustration overwhelmed him. He couldn't understand why he was suddenly in a bad mood all the time. In an attempt at rationality, Lucas started going through the events of the past couple months. It still didn't make sense. He had just married his high school sweetheart six months ago, and things were going great. Work was a little hectic, but that was to be expected with the new promotion. It was nothing he couldn't handle. In fact, until a couple weeks ago he had been thrilled by the new risks and responsibilities of the position. But one morning last month, he woke up with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he just couldn't seem to shake it off. In the beginning, the oddity of the mood swing was that it was not explosive, which would have at least fit his personality, instead it was depressingly apathetic. He just couldn't muster up any emotions about anything. But lately the apathy was taking a strange turn, and Lucas was getting more and more worried about sinking into serious depression.
Months passed and as apathy crept toward despair, Lucas secretly sought counseling. The doctors could find no physical or psychological ailment and his situation was always relegated to simple stress overload. "Just try to take it easy for a while," they all said. Lucas took the advice of the doctors and scheduled a couple weeks off work. But instead of the relaxation prescribed, Lucas decided to take his wife on a mini road trip to check out nearby Christian revivals. At the first revival, Lucas worshipped in a frenzy. He waved his hands, sung, shouted, and even burst into tears in a desperate attempt to capture the presence and joy of God. He left on an emotional high, but it didn't last. By the last revival, he didn't even get out of his chair. He barely listened to the songs, and he persuaded his wife to leave only an hour after arriving.
Lucas arrived back at home more depressed than ever. His wife answered a knock at the door, and he barely nodded as his best friend entered the room. The friend casually asked about the newlyweds.
"Oh, Sapphire and I are fine. I can't complain, although I imagine she's sick of this funk I've been in."
"What do you mean?"
Lucas hesitated. It wasn't that he was worried about talking to Mark. Mark was his oldest friend, he knew he could tell him anything, but he really just didn't feel like talking to anybody. Lucas gave in with a sigh: "Well lately, I just can't bring myself to care about anything. Sometimes I just want to sleep and not get up . . . and not that I'd ever do it, but sometimes I even find myself having suicidal thoughts . . . crazy, huh?"
Mark looked at him curiously, "Not really. Last Sunday, the preacher taught about intercessory prayer."
Lucas was frustrated and confused. "Yeah I know about intercessory prayer. It's when you pray for someone else. What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well, the preacher said that sometimes we go through things because God wants us to pray for or encourage someone else. Think about it. Jesus came down and experienced every type of temptation, not because of His own weaknesses but because the experiences made Him better able to minister and intercede for us. I'm willing to bet, there are many instances in which our feelings and situations are not because of us but for us to intercede for someone else."
For a while the two men sat in silence; each lost in his own thoughts. Finally, Mark stood to leave, and the two embraced before Mark hopped in his sports car, waved, and sped off.
Lucas, in an unexpected moment of relief, went back inside to look for his wife. He wanted to share this new revelation with her and see what she thought. He checked the den and the master bedroom but couldn't find her. He began calling her name as he checked the bathroom and kitchen. She couldn't have gone far, he thought as he noticed her purse on the counter. Then he stopped as he heard the engine running in the garage. "Honey, you're forgetting your purse . . . ," He started as he stepped into the garage. It took a moment before the image he encountered actually made sense to his brain. He sprinted to the car door and nearly ripped it off the hinges. His unconscious wife slumped in his arms. He carried her to the front yard, snatching her cell phone off the counter as he went. He called 911, and clumsily started CPR. He could feel himself beginning to fall apart, and immediately began praying for a miracle. Somehow he managed to continue the CPR until the paramedics arrived. As they rode off in the wailing ambulance, Lucas noticed for the first time that it had started raining outside. In a daze he looked at the rivulets running down the ambulance windows and to him they seemed to be perfect imitations of the streams of water burning paths down his cheeks.
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Lucas sat gripping his wife's hand and whispering prayers in her ear. The policeman cleared his throat politely before entering the room. "How is she?"
"The doctors said she will make it, but they won't know if there's any brain damage until she wakes up."
Lucas noticed the doctor shift uncomfortably and wished he would hurry and say what he had come for, so he could get back to his wife. "Can I help you?" Lucas asked in an attempt to speed things along.
The officer looked up, "We had to turn off the car after you left in the ambulance, and we found this note in the passenger seat." Slightly irritated, Lucas took the note and began to read.
Lucas,
I'm so sorry sweetie. I just couldn't go on like this anymore. I tried, I really did. I thought that marriage would fill the emptiness in my heart. I thought the light of your love would penetrate the darkness in my life, but it wasn't enough. I prayed that God would intervene. I prayed that He would send me somebody who understood my plight. Maybe I didn't pray hard enough. Or maybe I was just impatient. Either way, I couldn't wait any longer. I love you honey.
Ever yours,
Sapphire
Lucas lifted his head to look at his wife, and he didn't recognize her through the fresh set of tears in his eyes. He realized that for the first time in months, he was actually experiencing sincere emotions. He was hurt, angry, and sad. He looked at the monitors declaring that his love was still alive, and he felt a small surge of hope. But the feeling overshadowing everything else was guilt. He hung his head and with a sigh let his tears fall and blur the ink on the fateful letter in his lap. As he wept silently, one question kept running through his mind: how could I have been so blind?
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Moral of the story: Many times we get so caught up in our own battles that we don't realize we're losing far more. What if Christ had been so concerned with his impending crucifixion that He neglected to teach? He would not have completely fulfilled God' s purpose for Him on earth. Neither are we fulfilling our purposes when we are neglecting others for our own sakes. I Corinthians 10:24 says, "Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. (NIV)"
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