Faith

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~Becoming~


Screaming a downward signal from abandoning heights, I left the safety and anonymity of the clouds for the shore. From above, it seemed manageable but now that my feet indented the cold of the sand, it was overwhelming.

Why had I chosen this?

Faces crowded in, wanting, needing, demanding, and it seemed as if feathers were being plucked one by one from my thin, dimpled skin. The racket of their voices drowned out the soft rush of waves over the pebbled beach. I could barely hear the voices of my family. The breath of sea-salted air was vacuumed from my lungs.
I wondered again why I chose this foreign and difficult path. Most of my family worked at something more sea related, more fill-the-belly and flee related.

I had chosen this. This differentness.

And, while I was not lonely, I sometimes sensed a rogue need growing within me to fit in. I had been through this wanting before. I had been through this cold desire for others like myself to really SEE me. At times I wanted to give in, be a part of the scuttle and bustle of the shore crowd. I wanted to listen to the banter and arguments of my family and friends. I wanted to smell and taste the fish and vie for position. I wanted to belong.

But, I had chosen this. This aloneness.

Up here, the pillowed clouds, barely parenthesized the azure beauty of the sky. I knew I was not hiding but this vantage point gave me great comfort. I was able to watch their shore antics without participating, soar upward on the thermals like personified freedom and create intricate and filigreed flight patterns that separated me further from them. I knew as I dipped and dove that my Father held me tightly. He truly saw me.

He has chosen me.

c 6/17/2010 M. LaPointe

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