Christian Living

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Where do we
find spiritual wisdom?
Perhaps where we least expect it

We can find it by
looking at the ocean,
or the gentleness of a flower

We may find it listening to a confused person
when, for a brief moment, their
faith shines like the sun

We may find it in the homeless
or in the politician we’ve written off
as power-hungry

We can find it
in birds as
they take flight

We can find it in our heart and soul
Yes, we never know
where we might find wisdom



Understand Me


Steve was a very gentle man in our program for whom work was important. Steve’s biggest challenge proved to be communication. He suffered from severe schizophrenia, and he found it difficult to clarify his thoughts and transform them into words. He would often start a sentence he couldn’t complete. Still, the longer I stayed with Steve, the better I understood what he tried to say.

Steve had wanted to cook for a long time. With a lot of support and patience, he told me what things liked to cook. Together, we made a menu, and Steve prepared hamburgers, corn and served ice cream for dessert. Perhaps it wasn’t the most nutritional meal in the world, but he chose something he felt confident making for me. The smile on his face paid me more than all the wages in the world. Steve accomplished something most of us take for granted (or don’t even feel like doing, sometimes), but to him this proved to be a huge accomplishment. Years after that day, Steve would still bring up what a great job he did in preparing our meal even though Steve had difficulty communicating,

I tried to make Steve’s life as full as possible. Once, we were having a thank you party for the staff in our program. We could bring members who were working, if they had their own transportation. I knew Steve would not be able to take the bus to the party, so I received permission from my supervisor to drive him. When I told Steve he’d been invited to the party, he was thrilled.

Steve had dignity, and he felt proud to be included at the party. So proud, in fact, that he wanted to wear a suit. It took much time and support, but I went shopping with Steve to buy a suit. We went to a men’s store, and, with a lot of effort, Steve chose a suit. The shirt he wanted was too big for him, so we had it altered. The store worker who assisted Steve didn’t know how to respond when Steve couldn’t clearly articulate, so I would step in to help.

The day of the party came, and Steve looked great when I arrived to get him. I complimented him on his attire, and away we went. Steve didn’t have the best table manners, but our staff understood. He acted so happy, and he kept smiling all night. It was a night he would remember for many years.

Before the party, I learned that some of the staff resented members being asked, but I advocated for them, stating that they were workers, too. These members held jobs within our program, and they deserved the same honor and respect. Luckily, our administration decided to let members come. Two other members who worked also attended.

If I hadn’t taken the time to get to know Steve and learn about his dreams, he wouldn’t have had a job, he wouldn’t have cooked lunch for me, and he wouldn’t have attended the staff dinner that meant so much to him. Steve deserved the same respect as anyone else in the world. Yes, he was hard to understand, and yes, he walked slowly and remained quiet. Underneath his symptoms lived a man who had needs and dreams. Thanks to intervention and advocating, Steve fulfilled some of them. I wish this story had a happy ending, but Steve died nine years ago. Perhaps it’s not such a bad ending, after all. Steve lived his life as fully as possible. He experienced joy, and he had a wonderful heart. He felt comfortable with me and wanted to be helpful. The night we went to the party, he beamed with pride as he held open the car door for me. Several times, he asked if he could do anything for me.

Being understood was extremely important for Steve. I simply needed to have patience to listen; not just with my ears, but my heart, as well. Isn’t this something we all want? Don’t we all want to be understood? Imagine what it would be like to talk, saying what you thought sounded clear, only to realize that no one understood what you were saying. How frustrating! This was Steve’s life, day in and day out. I think he deserved some fun, don’t you?

Scripture

At that time Jesus said in reply, "I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike. Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him. Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

Matthew 11:25-30 (New American Bible)

Reflection

I purposely chose this scripture for the last chapter, because, not only does it fit the chapter, but it adequately reflects the focus of this book. Jesus tells us to come to Him when we are burdened. When we minister to others, we may see much pain and experience frustration as we try to provide services when money or time might be scarce. We need to know we can come to Jesus, no matter our concern. He has been there. He spent His entire life in ministry, and He had his fill of frustration and pain. In fact, he experienced the ultimate pain of being put to death on a cross. Will coming to Him make the pain we see around us go away? No, but we will know we aren’t alone and that we have the love and perseverance of Jesus within us to carry on.

We can only support others when we feel loved and supported. Jesus listens to us. Not only does he listen to our words, but He listens to what our heart is saying. Looking beyond the words, He also knows what is not being said—what we are hiding from Him.

We can follow Jesus by trying to have this same compassion for others. Of course, we can’t do it as well as He does, but we can be aware of what is going on in the life of someone who is depressed or lonely. Only then can we learn how to best support them.

Steve couldn’t clearly express himself with words, but his facial expressions and feelings were quite evident at times. I had to open my ears, my eyes and my heart to see his needs. I try to practice this with all the people in our program. Like everyone, else those with mental illness just want to be understood.

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