Encouragement

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Any group of compatible people can enjoy themselves, but Christians can enrich their social enjoyment with the knowledge that when they spend time together, they can have an eternally significant impact on one another. However, when any emphasis in our church life interferes at all with our effort to better understand the resources of Christ and to more effectively minister to the needs of people in the body, then the church has lost its way.

Surely the church must continue with evangelistic efforts, strengthen the teaching ministry, provide more opportunities for fellowship, expand church programs and build appropriate structures to serve the people and the community. But in all that is done, we must keep two pivotal truths clearly in mind:

1. People are hurting more deeply than we know (and often more than they themselves know, like the person who has not yet discovered they have a life-threatening illness.) and

2. Relationship with Christ provides resources found nowhere else to substantially heal them now and perfectly heal them forever.

Encouragement is essentially the ability to discern the hurt and fear in others, and in love, speak Christ’s truth into that fear and hurt. It can be in the form of exhortation, admonishment and teaching/preaching. It can also come as pleading, entreating and beseeching. But its desired end is always to console, encourage and comfort in a way that brings hope to the hearer and strength to take another step towards their destiny in Christ.

Encouragement in the scriptural sense is accomplished, through words, action or example. Words that encourage are prompted by love, directed towards fear and illuminated by Truth. Words motivated by anything but love have no power to encourage. They may cover a wound but never heal it. Only love promotes healing.
Christianity is involvement, from beginning to end. We are told to rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, restore the unspiritual, admonish the unruly and strengthen the weak. In short, by words and deeds encourage others to press on in their pursuit of holiness. The only motivation that will stir us to reach into each other’s lives with encouragement is love.

But too often we hold back. Why? Sometimes it’s fear of invading someone’s privacy, fear it’s not our place, fear we are ill equipped, fear of being in an uncomfortable position or more often than not, fear of relational loss. At the core of all our reasons is FEAR. Whether the cause of fear is major rejection or mild discomfort, the final solution is the same: We must be willing to hurt (greatly or minimally) and to suffer loss (be it everything or a few moments of social ease). Only when we accept what we fear, resolving that we are willing to endure whatever may happen, will the fear lose its power (1 John 4:18). When we declare ourselves by an act of will, to be willing to lose all human relationship (approval, recognition, love, etc.) if obedience to God requires it, we will be freed from the entanglement of fear. Only when we are freed from the fear of losing a relationship will our motivation approach the reality of love.

To love a person, we must be willing to lose our relationship with them. Dependently holding onto anyone or anything but God is, in its final form, idolatry. Idolatry is at root, fear of the wrong god. Fear in the right God puts us in touch with the perfect love that casts out all fear and ultimately perfects our motivations.
So, once we have cast off fear and are able to deliver encouraging words prompted by love, we need to deliver them to another’s fear. That’s the formula: from my love to another’s fear. But it is too often a misunderstood concept. Too many people reason like this: “All this encouragement business about warmth and supportiveness and acceptance is really off the mark. It fails to address the real problem and shows a weak view of sin. People need less affirmation and more exhortation to put off the old man and put on the new.” Some people, depending on their temperament, conform to this kind of pressure and appear to move along nicely on the road to spiritual maturity. Others rebel. In either case, little heart movement toward God takes place.

On the other extreme the reasoning goes like this: “We just need to be warm and unconditionally caring. Exhortations, calls to discipline, and pressure to make commitments are all counter productive to spiritual growth. People need an atmosphere of loving acceptance for growth to occur. Only in the context of love will personal maturity develop.” The truth is, people have no natural tendency to conform their lives to the character of God. Straying from the path of righteousness is as natural as barking is to a dog. I doubt these people would have been able to convince the prophet Amos that the Jews of his day were essentially a cooperative people needing only a loving environment for their real selves to blossom with love and good deeds.

Encouragement must not be defined as either rigorous exhortation or accepting warmth. Both will be involved in the work of encouragement, but neither gets at the essence of what encouragement is. Encouragement depends on loving motivation in the encourager as well as wisdom to discern the needs of the other person accurately. The actual words may be admonishing, rebuking, correcting, reproving, instructing, explaining, sympathizing, reflecting, affirming or consoling. If the motive is love and the target is fear, the word will be encouraging.
The ministry of encouragement requires that the encourager has some awareness of what is happening inside people and that he speaks words that reflect a genuine regard for others as valuable. The effect of encouragement is to stimulate the hope that solutions exist for every problem and that, seen from an eternal perspective life does make sense. Encouragement is not a technique to be mastered; it is sensitivity to people and a confidence in God that must be nourished and demonstrated.

The perfect example of encouragement at its best is in our relationship to Christ. The Lord Jesus declares us sinners and exposes us in all our filth. The diagnosis is worse than we feared. “Nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh”(Rom. 7:18). We cringe in His presence; afraid to look into what we are certain will be an angry face. As we await the pronouncement of our well-deserved rejection, we hear words that dance in our minds, words so unexpected that we are astonished. We listen again. We dare to look. Then we see His warm, loving smile and we hear Him repeat again, this time laughing gently at our surprise, “I don’t condemn you. I forgive you. I love you and I want you to be a part of my eternal plan to spread the good news of acceptance and love.” And I am eternally encouraged. He has spoken from His love to my fear.

God’s perfect love casts out all fear. Our imperfect love, poor, hopefully improving, but still feeble imitation of His love can reduce fear. People will be encouraged as their fear is exposed through discernment and softened by love. This is the burden and the gift of encouragement. However, it can never be accomplished in the natural. It is a gift of the Spirit. We need the discernment that comes from the Spirit to see the needs in our brothers and sisters. And we need the wisdom of the Spirit to speak sound truth in the right way.

It also, I believe, cannot be realized outside of community (a body of brothers and sisters committed to one another in love). Truth presented to people who are not involved in encouraging relationships will generally not realize its potential to change lives. Also, warm, affirming relationships that neglect the truth of biblical commands may promote happy feelings and improved self-images, but they do not promote godly character. Maximum growth in Christian maturity occurs when truth is presented in the context of relationships. So then we see that encouragement is speaking truth out of love to another’s fear for the purpose of building them up in the faith, in the context of community and in the power of the Holy Spirit. This is the call and ministry of every Christian.

However, there are those who seem to have a unique gifting in this area. They seem to always be able to say the right thing at the right time. Their presence and ministry seems to lift the spirits of those they come in contact with. They have a humble spirit and yet speak with authority to the needs of individuals and the body as a whole. Such a man was Barnabas of Acts. His name actually means Son of Consolation. There have been many Barnabas’ down through church history and they are among us today. Some are preachers, some are teachers, and some are quietly working behind the scenes. These are they that have the gift of encouragement (the supernaturally elevated ability to discern the needs of others) and speak “like apples of gold in a setting of silver...a word spoken in right circumstances (Prov. 25:11). They are always able to speak the “delightful and timely word” (Prov. 25:23). Embrace them where you find them. They are gifts to the church and role models for all who desire to reach into the lives of others and touch them in their deepest pain.

Yet, gifted or not, it must never be forgotten that at its core encouragement is led and fueled by the Holy Spirit. But like all gifts there are obstacles to their application and principles that need to be practiced for it to facilitate life-changing results. The two most common obstacles are not with the hearer but with the encourager. They are manipulation and layers.

First, the line between concern and control can be difficult to recognize. Manipulation can look like ministry. We must always be aware of our sin nature and judge our actions carefully. We must be certain we are operating out of love and not using others to promote our own agenda.

Second, we must be aware of our human habit to live behind layers: layers that enable us to quiet our fears, insecurity and feelings of insignificance while projecting a veneer of confidence. Sometimes it can be a layer of humor (hiding behind joking and clowning) and sometimes it can be serious( hiding behind a knowledge of theology for the purpose of puffing yourself up). They can all be layers we use to control our environment and relationships.

The principles we must practice are simple:
1. Be slow to speak (Prov. 12:18, 13:3, 17:27-28, 29:20)
Human beings listen three times faster than they talk. We muyst be careful to listen and not interrupt or offer quick solutions. Remember: waiting for your turn to talk is not listening.
2. Be sensitive in your speech
Our words must fit the circumstance and the personality. Where admonishment may be called for in one instance, comfort may be called for in another.
3. Be gentle in your speech (Proverbs 15:1, 15:4, 26:21)
Many words are spoken to demonstrate competency, to exhibit success, to control others or enhance reputation. Gentle speech is always for the benefit of another. Though gentle speech is not necessarily softly spoken, it is always seasoned with grace.

The encourager is to be joyfully and responsibly aware of the great potential his words may have to heal or destroy.

Non-verbal techniques that can aid encouragement:
1. Squarely face the other person.
2. Openly face the other person (ex: avoid crossed arms)
3. Lean forward (communicates interest)
4. Keep eye contact
5. Relax (don’t act like you’re late for an appointment)

Verbal techniques that aid encouragement:
1. Reflection (help the person off their troubles and on to
solutions.
2. Clarification (we don’t always “hear“ what the other
person is saying. Strive for clarity: in their sharing and your understamding.)
3. Exploring (Ask open-ended questions that allow you
to dig deeper. Ex: “How did that make you feel?” vs.
“ Did that make you angry?”)

Please don’t misinterpret these suggestions. I know they must sound cold and calculating but the truth is that most of us have very poor listening skills; most of the time we are just waiting for our turn to talk. These suggestions are merely helpful pointers on how to move from “quick-tongued” to “slow to speak”. Soon you’ll find that listening will become second nature to you and techniques and methods will fade away as you become a natural listener.
Remember, our goal is to reach through the layers (both theirs and ours) touch the hurt and help to heal the pain. Not in our wisdom and strength but in the power of the Holy Spirit.

“So then, we do not speak in words taught by human wisdom, but in words taught by the Spirit, as we explain spiritual truths to those who have the Spirit.” 1Cor 2:13


EXHORTATION/ENCOURAGEMENT
(a self bible study)

PROTREPOMAI (prot-rep-om-ahee) base of TROPE (trop-ay), to turn forward encourage – exhort

Scriptures: Acts 18:27

PARAKALEO (par-ak-al-eh-o) from PARA (with, beside) and KALEO (to call forth) invite, invoke, implore, entreat, comfort

Scriptures: Luke 3:18 2Timothy 4:2
Acts 2:40, 11:23 Titus 1:9 2:6,9,15
2Corinthians 9:5 Hebrews 3:13, 10:25
1Thessolonians 2:11, 4:1, 1Peter 5:1,2
2Thessolonians 3:12 Jude 3
1Timothy 2:1, 6:2

PARAINEO (par-ahee- neh-o) to recommend or advise a different course admonish, exhort

Scriptures: Acts 27:22

PARAKEIS (par-ak-lay-sis) comfort, consolation, exhortation,

Scriptures: Matthew 5:4 Ephesians 6:22
Luke 16:25 Colossians 2:2, 4:8
John 14:16, 26; 15:26, 16:7
1Thessolonians 2:3; 3:2,7; 4:18; 5:11
Acts 9:31, 13:15, 16:40, 20:12
2Thessolonians 2:17 1Timothy 4:13
Romans 12:8, 15:4 Hebrews 12:5, 13:22
1Corinthians 14:3, 31
2Corinthians 1:3,4,6; 2:7; 7:4,6,7,13; 8:17; 12:11

PARAKLEIS as companion to PROPHECY: 1Corinthians 14:3, 31

PARAKLEIS as companion to TEACHING: 1Tim. 6:2, Titus 1:9, 2:9

PARAKLEIS as companion to PREACHING: Luke 3:18, Acts 13:15, 20:2, 1Th 2:3, 1Tim 4:13, 2Tim 4:2, Titus 1:9

Note:
PARAKLEIS preaching is to remind, comfort, encourage
KERUSSO is the usual translation for preaching which is to proclaim or herald the truth

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