Humor

---

When a person has reached the ripe old age I have reached there are precious few pleasures left. Actually, there are many pleasures left but no energy to pursue them and if I happen to catch a pleasure, I can't remember what in the world I'm supposed to do with it.

One pleasure has been by my side for more years than I care to remember. No matter what the circumstances I may be in at the moment, I can always count on this pleasure to lift my spirits and paint a grin on my mug. Of course, if the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage catches me with this pleasure I have some real explaining to do.

This is where my wife and I paddle separate canoes.

The pleasure I am referring to has created more discussion – or maybe I should say monologues – in our home then just about anything else. I'm for it and she's against it. In all reality, her arguments against it, at least in verbiage, far outweighs my argument for it.

When you come right down to it is very difficult to explain why you like the things that you like. My motto is, to each person his own pleasure. In this regard, we are not all created equal.

The pleasure I am speaking about is a lowly, but highly delicious, Apple Fritter. When God created the Apple Fritter, he sat down and said, "Uhm, um um that's good." And the world has never been the same since.

When I see an Apple Fritter I say, "Uhm, um um that's good."

When my wife sees an Apple Fritter, particularly my Apple Fritter, she says, "How many calories are in that?" She never refers to it by its proper name but simply calls it, "That."

My view on the subject is that when something tastes as wonderful and as delicious as an Apple Fritter there is actually no reason to count calories. In fact, in the pursuant of the pleasure of eating an Apple Fritter calories simply do not count.

Someone who did not know me very well might ask an obvious question, "When eating an Apple Fritter aren't you worried about what your wife may say?"

That is a perfectly reasonable question. With all the problems in the world and all of the difficulties and disappointments we encounter day by day, that would be a very good question to ask. However, when I am in the "act" of eating an Apple Fritter nothing else matters in the whole world. That is the effect an Apple Fritter has on Yours Truly.

I believe that is the purpose of a pleasure; to help me forget about the nastiness of the world around me.

To be honest, I must say that my wife has one good point about my Apple Fritters. If you just look at the ingredients of an Apple Fritter, you could conclude that it is unhealthy for a person. However, that is looking at it from the scientific side of things.

I look at things from the philosophical side. And when I do that, I must conclude that the lowly Apple Fritter has marvelous restorative abilities. With all the ingredients laid out on the table I will find no appetite for it. In fact, I might turn my nose up in disgust if I look just at the ingredients.

However, put them all together and wave a magical wand over it and voilà, you have an Apple Fritter capable of bringing a great deal of pleasure to someone like me.

Normally, if someone like me has normal moments, I keep the consumption of my Apple Fritters from my wife. And I do this out of deep respect and love for her... not to mention my Apple Fritter. I know if she knew I was eating an Apple Fritter it would upset her. Not wanting to upset my Beloved, what she does not know I am eating will not hurt her or me for that matter.

I was just thinking the other day, if the whole world were an Apple Fritter who would need heaven. Nothing pleasures me more than indulging in a freshly baked Apple Fritter. How wonderful it would be if this pleasure was multiplied a billion times around our world.

Instead of war, or hate, or greed, or lust, or killing, there would simply be Apple Fritter Time. Everybody would indulge in sharing the marvelous pleasures of eating Apple Fritters. We would sit around café-like and talk about how wonderful Apple Fritters are. The center of every conversation would be delighting in Apple Fritters.

Every language on the Earth would have something nice to say about this delicacy. It would be the common point of conversation in every nation under the sun.

This kind of world would make heaven here on earth.

But this is not the kind of world we live in. The apostle Paul noted this when he wrote, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better" (Philippians 1:21-24).

No pleasure upon the Earth, even Apple Fritters, compares to what God has in store for us in heaven.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE