Christian Living
For many years I was a very angry person. Yes, some Christians have anger issues. There is no reason, however, especially for a Christian, for anger to continue. It can be overcome. Anger is an emotion just like happiness, joy or sadness. The problem is knowing how to deal with it properly, in ways that don't damage our Christian testimony or destroy relationships. The following is an excerpt from my book about my battle with anger and how I have dealt with it and am continuing to do so. Recovery from wrong mindsets is a continual discipline.
One of the first things I learned(from counseling) is that anger can become a habit and pattern of behavior. I had become accustomed to reacting to another person or situation. After months of discussing causes behind my anger, attention was given to solutions. My recovery from anger consists of the following choices:
1. I have to own the problem. "Blowing up" or yelling is never justified and accomplishes nothing.
2. I need to recognize what sorts of things or situations make me angry.
3. When I know in advance that I might have a situation that has the potential to make me react, I can plan in advance how I can respond in a non-destructive way.
4. I think of positive alternatives in dealing with the anger, like going for a walk, or going outside and working in the yard. Sometimes I may have to plan what I am going to say.
5. It is important that I vent my anger, and do something to release it, but not around other people.
There are three objectives that I choose to focus on in getting control of anger. One, it is necessary to deal with it so it does not become repressed. Two, it is crucial that the family is not exposed to my emotional outbursts. Three, attempts should be made to keep relationships intact. I have unfortunately discovered that one negative expression directed at a person, even just using a wrong tone of voice, can destroy a relationship. Remember, I have not arrived. I am constantly working on these things, and get lax many times, but it is a strategy to overcome anger.
This can be a good example for our children. It can teach them that it is essential to express themselves and not hold things in. From this they can learn to do it in ways that will not undermine relationships, and expose others to their emotional baggage.
Taken from the author's book, GOD'S HEALING HOPE:BREAKING THE STRONGHOLDS OF WRONG THINKING,
coypright 2008. The book is available on Google Books.
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Thanks, John. The key for me is that unhealthy anger indeed is a habit and must be conquered to express anger in a healthy, godly way. "Be angry and sin not." I like you have hurt a lot of people and myself with explosive anger, and like you, I am learning with the help of the grace and mercy of Christ, counseling, and study to change this bad habit. Blessings.
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