Bible Studies

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Jesus said,
'Take away
the
stone!'
[John 11:39]
********************
"It doesn't always
work out that way,
LORD!"

"What,
child?"

"THIS!
This SCENE with
the ROCK!"

[PATIENT SQUINT.]
"Which one,
My precious."

"Ya know: this Part,
where the mourning...
RELATIVES....
are all standin' around....
waitin' for Jesus to
DO SOMETHIN'!"

[NOD.]
"Ah.
Read It
to Me."

(Look up, innocently.)
"Ya want me to
READ IT...in
HEBREW?
Or,
in ENGLISH?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"Oy vey 'z mir."

(Laugh!)
"SURE!

'And, some
of them [Jews]
said, 'Could not
this Man, who opened
the eyes of the blind,
also have kept
this man from dying?'
[John 11:37]."

[LISTENING.]
[BECKON A WARRIOR
ANGEL INTO THE
THRONE ROOM. THE
ANGEL IS HUGE: HIS
WINGS SPAN OVER 30
FEET, AND HIS SWORD
IS SO LONG THAT HE
HAS HAD TO LAY IT
DOWN IN THE DOORWAY
JUST SO HE CAN KNEEL
DOWN BEFORE THE
THRONE.]
[NOD.]
"Yes,
Mein kin'der.
Go on."

(Look up.)
(Laugh.)
"Well.....it's just that....
Ya know.....SOMETIMES,
the relatives wouldn't
always REACT this WAY!"
(Laugh!)

[NODDING TO
THE KNEELING ANGEL.]
[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Go on,
kin'der'lah.
I am listening."

(Laugh!)
"I can just imagine
MY RELATIVES:

'NO! NO!
DON'T DO IT!
DON'T DO IT!
DON'T MOVE THE STONE!
PLEASE! WE ALREADY
PAID FOR THE FUNERAL!
THE K'NISHES* ARE ALREADY
MADE...AND, THE CHALLAH**!
AND...THE CANTOR***
HAS ALREADY BEEN HIRED!
LET HER STAY DEAD!
WE DIDN'T LIKE HER,
TO START WITH!
SHE WAS JUST A BIG NUISANCE!
DON'T BRING HER BACK
TO LIFE!
PLEASE...!
WE BEG OF YOU!'

Can You just IMAGINE...?"
(Laugh!)

[PATIENT SHAKE
OF THE HEAD.]
[FROWN.]
[MURMUR TO THE
KNEELING WARRIOR
ANGEL. ANGEL NODS,
AND BEGINS RECOUNTING HIS TALE
OF HEAVENLY BATTLES
WITH SEVERAL OF
SATAN'S WORLDLY
ANGELS. THE ANGEL'S
WARRIOR-LIKE VOICE
SOUNDS A LOT LIKE
COMMANDER WORF ON
STAR TREK. HE HAS
A NAME, BUT IT IS
TOO DIFFICULT FOR
HUMANS TO PRONOUNCE,
AND THE SCENT OF HIM
IS LIKE THAT OF THE
AIR OVER A SUMMER'S
LAKE, RIGHT BEFORE
AN ELECTRICAL STORM.]

(Laughing.)
"Ya know what I MEAN?
HECK....not to MENTION,
if my EX and his new
WIFE were THERE: she'd
be wearin' a low-cut,
slit-up-to-the-thigh...
red silk DRESS....
over nothin' but
flesh-colored,
Victoria SECRET..
..And red leather,
six-inch,
high heels......
and dancin' around, with
a TAMBORINE, shouting:
'The witch is dead!
The witch is dead!
The wicked witch is dead!
YAHOOO!
YAHOOOO!"
(Laughing.)

[PATIENT FROWN.]
[PUT A HAND UP,
TO SILENCE THE
WARRIOR ANGEL
FOR ONE MOMENT.]
"Child, this is what
you think about,
when you are reading
My Scripture?"

(Laughing.)
"Oh, YEAH!
This is such good MATERIAL!"

[SIGH.]
[SHAKE HEAD IN
CONSTERNATION.]
[NOD TO THE
ANGEL TO CONTINUE
HIS TALE OF SPIRITUAL
LOVE AND WAR. THE
ANGEL, A BRUTISH-
LOOKING FELLOW,
HAS LONG WILD REDDISH
HAIR, AND HUGE BULGING
MUSCLES. HE SORT OF
RESEMBLES SAMSON,
BUT WITHOUT ANY
OF SAMSON'S WEAKNESSES
OR EVIL
GIRLFRIENDS.]

(Smile up at the ceiling.)
"I can't HELP IT,
LORD! I got too
much Jewish HUMOR!
I can't HELP it!"

[NODDING TO THE
FIRERY RED-HAIRED
ANGEL, WHO IS NOW
BOWING HIS HALO'D HEAD,
AGAIN, BEFORE DEPARTING
FOR ANOTHER WARRIOR
ASSIGNMENT WITHIN
THE HEAVENLY REALM.]
[LOOK BACK AT HIS WEAKLING,
SCRUFFY-HAIRED CHILD SITTING
ON EARTH, AND CHEWING
ON A STRAWBERRY-
FLAVORED POPSICLE.]
"I understand,
Mein kin'der."

"You DO?
That's WEIRD!
I thought You
were like.....all SERIOUS,
and all?"

[SHAKING HIS HEAD
ONCE MORE.]
[PATIENT FROWN.]
"Just as Serious
as I was,
child...."
[GLANCE OVER TO HIS
RIGHT.]
[CHUCKLE.]
"...While,
I was
making
you."
***********************
He cried
with a
loud voice,
'Lazarus!
Come forth!'
[John 11:43]


__________________________
*A Jewish side dish,
made of potatoes.
**Jewish bread: usually
eaten for the Sabbath.
***A special Rabbi,
who sings, particularly
for festive, and
nonfestive
occasions.

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