Humor

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WHEN FORKS RUN AWAY FROM HOME

During the past several years, I have, among other things, been chief cook and bottle washer, and am mostly responsible for all other matters of the kitchen. I actually do enjoy that work, and reports are that I have become quite good at it.

However, I have recently discovered a little problem. Believe me when I say I have wrung out my brain trying to find the answer. So...what is the problem, you might ask? Well, I am perplexed as to why our forks seem to be running away from home.

As it is with many families, we have two sets of silverware. One set is only brought out for special dinner guests, and the other set is for our everyday use. The “good” set is happy to be stored in the felt lined compartments of a tea cart drawer. They never give us any trouble.

On the other hand, and for reasons I don’t understand, it would seem that some of the “everyday” set has begun to rebel. We have always taken good care of them, and they have fed us well, but our forks are beginning to strangely disappear.

Perhaps the wayward forks suffered from overwork, or, possibly isolation due to their lonely position on one side of the plate setting.

It’s not likely that the garbage disposal accidently swallowed them either, because it would have complained loudly. Besides, we are dues paying members in good standing of the “clean plate club”, and very few scraps are fed to the disposal unit. Also, for that very reason, the forks would not have been accidently tossed into the garbage can.

At first I thought clues to our mystery might be gleaned from the words of the nursery rhyme,
"Hey! diddle, diddle..."

Hey! diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

But then, I quickly realized the rhyme’s story couldn’t apply to our situation because the dishes and spoons are all accounted for. The forks did not escape with them, nor, was the dog involved.

I have read somewhere that when elephants are ready to die, they disappear to some hidden location in the wild known only to them. Also, morning dew on the grass will simply evaporate from sight without a trace.

But, where do forks go? The plot thickens…

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