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The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33

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The Granny Abduction

by Larry Belt
04/02/10
Not For Sale
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Here's a story my grandma told
When I was just a kid
She said she was abducted by aliens
And this is what she did

She said while she was sleeping
She was awakened by a big blue light
She was only wearing her nightgown
For it was still in the middle of the night

Now see, all those little green men
Were in for quite a surprise
They didn't know my grandma
And her beady little grandma eyes

So they got her to their spaceship
And then, away they flew
But see, them aliens just couldn't guess
What the rest of us already knew

They laid her on a silver table
And started taking off her clothes
When one of them touched her bloomers
She popped him in the nose

She said, "What do you think you're doing?
Don't touch a my undergarments!
Turn this spaceship around right now
And take me home, you varmints!"

Now, the aliens didn't like that much
And grabbed her by the hair of her head
They thought that this would control her
But her wig came off instead

You should have seen those alien's faces
As they all jumped back is shock
The one that was holding my grandma's wig
Was laying passed out on the dock

She said one of them finally told her
That she'd better comply and disrobe
Then they picked up some kinda shiney thing
For she was about to get probed

Well, Granny jumped off that table
And grabbed them by their ears
She said, "Turn this thing aroud right now,
Before my patience disappears"

Well those aliens wanted her off their ship
So they did just what she said
And when they got my granny back home
They even tucked her in her bed

Well that's the story my grandma told
But she said it happened before
So when she tells me the rest of the story
I'll be sure and tell you more












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