Christian Living

Paul Janz meets JESUS

by Paul Janz
03/22/10
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Raised as a child in the Catholic religion, I can still remember as an altar-boy standing beside the priest and wishing that somehow I could be holy and acceptable to God. For even though people thought I was holy because I wore a religious robe, had the title, "Master of Ceremonies", poured communion wine over the priest's fingers, and spread incense around the altar, I knew I was not holy. No matter how many times I went to confessional, did penance, and prayed the rosary, it could not free me from the sinful desires that I knew existed in my heart. I had a form of religion but no power to be free.

By the time I was a teenager, I was in bondage to the desires of my flesh. I longed to be free from these sinful desires but could not.

One day I was asleep on the living room sofa when I heard the voice of God speaking. The Bible describes the voice of God "like the voice of many waters, and like the voice of loud thunder"(Rev. 14:2).That's exactly what it was like. I thought my head was going to explode as God's voice was so loud. I woke up terrified...it was thundering outside. I went immediately to my mother's bedroom and told her what happened, but she could offer little comfort.

For the first time in my life, I realized God was alive and could see me and all my sinful practices. Then I prayed in desperation, "O God, please don't be alive. I am so ashamed of my sins!" The fact is God was very much alive and was after me. I could not escape the reality of that experience from that time on.

Finding no peace or satisfaction in my worldly pursuitsor relationships, I quit my job. It was May, 1974. I was now a depressed 19-year-old in search of true peace and happiness. It was thenI decided to go to Hawaii . . . perhaps greener pastures? However, my agent suggested Spain, saying the weather is just as nice, and one could live there on a dollar a day. Never one to pass up a bargain, I changed my destination. The agent also suggested the place: a touristy town called Torremolinos, right on the Mediterranean coast.

Unknown to me, Torremolinos was the only place in all of Spain to have an English-speaking evangelical church. And it was filled with young people who readily shared their faith out on the street.

I arrived in Madrid feeling very alone. A short flight to the port city of Malaga and the bus ride that followed only enforced that lonely feeling . . . I could not speak a word of Spanish and no one around me could speak English.

When I arrived in Torremolinos, I booked into the cheapest hotel that I could find. It sat on the only walkway that wound its way down the cliffs to the beach below. Near the top of the walkway was a special viewing area overlooking the sea. I had to walk by this spot to get to my hotel or to shop in town.

And wouldn't you know it, that's where those friendly, smiling, peaceful-looking Christians hung out. God put me in a certain hotel so that I couldn't avoid them, and in a land where the only people who could speak English were Christians. It's amazing what God does when He is after you! I was drawn to their friendliness and would often stop to talk to them.

One day, I was in conversation with an attractive Christian girl named Marie, who I was hoping would accept an offer for a date. She politely refused and then said something that floored me. "Paul, do you know that you are going to hell?"

"How can you say that?" I replied in self-righteous piety. "I am a Catholic."

Undeterred, Marie continued, "Is your life pleasing to God?"

I knew my life was not pleasing to God. I responded, "I cannot talk with you anymore!" With that I turned away, my conscience smitten. Although I tried to hide under the cloak of my religion, I knew I was guilty of transgressing God's laws. And no amount of religiosity could free me from that guilt. I avoided those Christians for weeks, deliberately choosing different departure times from my hotel so as not to meet them.

Yet God had a way of wearing down my resistance. Those friendly Christians were the only ones who could speak English, and I needed someone to talk to. So eventually, our paths crossed again. They gave me a little booklet of the Gospel of John. I took it to be polite, never intending to read it. But while I was lying on the beach, observing the emptiness of my life and those around me, I began to read.

For the first time, the scriptures seemed alive to me. Who is this Jesus that I am reading about? I returned to the Christians and asked them if they had any other books like the Gospel of John. They smiled and pointed to the Bible. "That's not what I had in mind," I told them. Could such ancient writings be relevant for my life today?

They did however give me a book written by their pastor. It was about world events that were happening today and how the Bible accurately predicted those events. I found it fascinating. There's no doubt, God had awakened me and created a spiritual hunger inside my heart. And the Bible, which was once boring and dead to me, was now interesting and alive.

Eventually, I accepted an invitation to a Bible study given by the pastor's wife. I don't remember the study per se, but I do remember feeling the love of God emanating from these young people sitting around the table. At the end of the study, the pastor's wife said, "Paul, would you like to accept Jesus into your life?" I replied, "Yes, but I will wait till I'm good enough."

For I thought God only accepts good people, and that you somehow have to work your way into God's favor. She responded, "Paul, God accepts you as you are . . . just come to Him." The Holy Bible confirms this: "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

How do you argue with God's Holy Word? I began to say the sinner's prayer, led by the pastor's wife, yet I was not very sincere. I was thinking, "I'll do this to please them, so I can get out of here." However, when she prayed, "And Lord, I know I deserve to go to Hell," I paused. For me to repeat this portion, I would be admitting before all these young people that I am a sinner and that I deserve Hell. Something happened in my attitude right then. When I decided to say that part of the prayer, I meant it. All at once, I felt a big weight of guilt lift off my shoulders.

When we were finished, everyone hugged me. And although I felt a peace, I doubted my own sincerity. Did I really mean it, or did I do it for show? They wanted me to move into a large villa that a wealthy British lady had opened for new believers. I politely declined and went back to my hotel room. I was certain that nothing had changed and that my prayer was little more than trying to please some very nice, religious zealots.

But when I got back to my room, I fell to my knees and began weeping. I cried, "Jesus, if You're real, come into my heart." My prayer was completely sincere this time. There were no other people around to "impress." There was no need for a facade. I bared my heart before God, hiding nothing . . . my sins now exposed to the only One who had the power to forgive them. Peace suddenly flooded my heart. The very presence of God overwhelmed my entire being! I knew my search for true peace and happiness was over. The answer was in a person . . . JESUS. He was real! He was alive! And now He lived in my heart!

Blessings in Christ Jesus,

Paul Janz

(Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version.) "Paul Janz meets JESUS" Copyright 2010 - 2019 by Paul Janz. Paul Janz is a mature aspiring author whose writings are based on personal experiences and issues that the Lord has laid on his heart. His wit, humor, maturity, and ability to tell a good story make him an ideal writer for any Christian magazine. Contact him directly through his website: Heaven Inspired Movies