Humor

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Normally, I am not one to complain about the weather. Okay. Maybe I complain a little about the weather. All right, have it your way, I complain a lot about the weather. Are you happy now?

Actually, it is important for me to complain about the weather. It is either that or politics, and you know what that does to my blood pressure. If I had my rathers, I would rather complain about politics. It is so much easier to do, and there is always something to complain about. After all, sometimes the weather is perfect.

I have always felt that complaining about politics is part of a very good health plan. First, it gets your blood boiling, which has the effect of cleansing your blood. You know what dirty blood can do for your health. Then, it clears your head of all the nonsense collecting up there for days or weeks on end. It is the only political health plan that actually works.

There should be some kind of a plan, maybe a lottery system, to select the politician of the day to complain about. With so many politicians, I am concerned I may forget to complain about some politician who actually needs to be complained about. Some congressional committee needs to be put together so that they can select the politician of the day to grumble. After all, I do not want to miss an opportunity to make a complaint about some politician.

Complaining about politics has another beneficial effect. It keeps you from complaining about your spouse. After all, when you have said everything you have to say about politics and politicians there is not much left over to shoot at your spouse. I am still waiting for my wife to thank me for this one.

There are those who feel you should not complain at all about anything. I think the British say, "Just keep a stiff upper lip." But, thankfully, I am not British. And if I was, I do not think it would be something for me to complain about when there is so much good complaining material with our politics these days.

Another thing about complaining people often overlook, particularly when you are complaining about the weather. No matter who you are around, you can always say something about the weather. "How about this weather we're having?" And that breaks the ice and a very delightful conversation can begin. Without complaining about the weather, people stand around staring into the air thinking the other person is stuck up.

If it is raining, we can whine and say, "When is this rain ever going to stop?" And those around you will give an affirming nod and then opine on the subject at hand.

Then, if it has not rained for a few days, we can always grumble and say, "We sure do need some rain around here, don’t we?" Then the vigorous affirmative nods will begin and the conversation will center on the weather.

My grandfather once told me that when you are in public you should never talk about religion or politics. These are the two areas that can get you into trouble, and yet these are the two areas that we cannot help talking about.

This is where complaining about the weather tops everything. You can be a Republican or a Democrat and agree on complaining about the weather. You can be a Christian or an atheist and agree that the weather outside is lousy. Of course, this latter one is a little slippery, because the Christian might inadvertently say, "I pray God will help us with the weather." Then the atheist is mad because... well... he does not have anybody to pray to.

Of course there are those who believe complaining about sports is in the same league as complaining about the weather. Nothing could be further from the truth. Not everybody is affected by sports. Not everybody watches the football game or the Super Bowl. Not everybody watched the Winter Olympics but everybody gets wet when it rains.

I have also found this to be helpful when I come home from a long day away from the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Invariably, she will ask me about my day and who I met throughout the day. Then she will say, "What did you talk about?" Then I can smile broadly and say, "We complained about the weather." And that usually settles the whole matter.

There is no more level playing ground than grumbling about the weather. Both rich and poor can do it. Both celebrity and average person can do it. Male and female are on equal footing when it comes to grumbling about the weather. Complaining about the weather is the great equalizer.

One equalizer stands out among all others regardless. I am referring to Jesus Christ. The apostle Paul wrote this, "For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:26-28 KJV).

Someone once said, at the foot of the cross the ground is level. Meaning, anyone and everyone can come to Jesus Christ and no one has more of an advantage than everyone else does.

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