Miracle Stories

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And
behold,
there was
a man
who had
a
withered
hand.
[Matthew 12:10]
***********************
"I thought it was
almost......
kind'a TACKY,
Lord."

[PATIENT VOICE.]
"What,
child."

(Impatient yell.)
"Healing in the
middle of SHABBAT SERVICES!
IT WAS TACKY!"

[PATIENT GAZE.]

"It JUST WASN'T....
KOSHER!"

[CHUCKLE.]

(Sniff the air.)
"These Gentiles
just don't UNDERSTAND!"
(Shake head,
at the ceiling fan.)
"YOU'VE been to
SHABBAT SERVICES!
YOU KNOW WHAT
I MEAN!"

[SMILE!]
[NOD.]

"Doin' STUFF LIKE THAT..."
(Grimmace.)
"It just ISN'T THE
PLACE FOR IT!"

[SILENCE.]

"It's a very LOVELY,
SOLEMN SERVICE!"
(Frown at the corner
of the wall, where it
meets the ceiling.)
"Ya don't just start
PULLIN' PEOPLE.....
up the FRONT...
and, start doin'
abracadabra-stuff,
on THEM!"

"ABRACADABRA."
[GLANCE TO HIS RIGHT.]
"NU*?"
[A BURST OF LAUGHTER
CAN BE HEARD, FROM
THE RIGHT SIDE. IT
THUNDERS THROUGH THE
WHOLE THRONE ROOM.
A COUPLE OF ANGELS,
STANDING BY, CAN
FEEL THEIR WINGS
FLUFF UP.]

"I THINK THE
PHARISEES WERE
RIGHT!"

[TURN TO HIS
RIGHT, AGAIN.]
[THE THRONE ROOM
CONTINUES TO
THUNDER WITH
LAUGHTER.]

(Point to the ceiling.)
"Listen!
THERE WERE SIX
WORK DAYS...
OUTTA THE WEEK!"
(Look up.)
"WHY DIDN'T JESUS...
just have a HEALING CEREMONY..
every WEDNESDAY NIGHT?
Or...
EVERY OTHER THURSDAY?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
[CHUCKLING CAN
STILL BE HEARD FROM
THE THRONE TO THE RIGHT.]
"Read My Word,
precious."

"I DID!
SO?
If somebody had a bad
HAND, for twenty-SOME YEARS........
couldn't they wait
FOUR MORE DAYS,
to GET HEALED?"
(Squint upwards.)
"WELL?"

"Would you
wish to wait,
child?"

"HECK!
I've had BAD EYESIGHT,
for 53 and HALF YEARS!
And, it's TUESDAY!
If SOMEBODY TOLD ME
TO COME BACK, ON
FRIDAY AFTERNOON,
AT 12 O'CLOCK....?"
(Snort.)
"HECK!
I'D BE THERE....
IN LICKITY'SPLIT!
FRIDAY AFTERNOON....ELEVEN FIFTY-NINE,
ON THE DOT!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"I understand,
My precious."

"If that guy
with the withered hand,
had to wait for four DAYS..
wouldn't it have
given him somthin',
to look
FORWARD TO?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Oy vey 'z mir,
kin'der."

(Impatient voice.)
"SO....WHY DID
HE DO IT?"

[PATIENT VOICE
OF A FATHER
ACCUSTOMED TO
AN ARGUMENTATIVE,
CRANKY CHILD.]
"Why did
Who do What,
My beloved."

"JESUS!
WHY WAS HE ALWAYS
HEALING EVERYBODY,
ON THE SABBATH?"
(Stare up at the ceiling vent.)
"....Just to get the
PHARISEES MAD AT HIM?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

(Impatient squirm.)
"WELL?
Was THAT IT?"

[PATIENT VOICE.]
"Was that
what,
My precious."

(LOUD WHINY VOICE.)
"WAS THAT IT?"

[SMILING.]
"Was that
what."

(Impatient shout.)
"IT!
IT!"

"Ah."
[WISE NOD.]
"It is
a Mystery,
My child:
A Mystery."
***********************
Then
He said
to the man,
'Stretch out
your hand.'
[Matthew 12:13]

________________________
*Yiddish: 'Can you
believe this?'

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