Humor

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Humor: Cell Phones
I have a land-line complete with wires that go in my wall and to the local telephone pole. It rings and I answer it (or not - since the invention of caller ID). I get in the car and listen to the radio or tapes because I do not have a CD player. I don't have to worry about the phone ringing while I am driving to ask me if I want to partake in a survey of some sort and can listen to my tapes and even sing-along if I so choose.

In the meantime there are other folks driving by happily chatting, forgetting to put their turn signal on or touching their brakes because the light turned red. There are wrecks all over the place, but the injured are still on their phones making arrangements for this or that after they get out of the hospital. My husband has a cell phone for work - a Nextel beeper thingy because no one in trucks use the CB's anymore; it was an easy transition for him because a beeper phone is similar to a CB - he doesn't use it to make phone calls because he can't figure out (or see) which buttons to push to actually use it as a phone.

We finally got Cable TV and the Internet. The company came up with an offer we could not refuse, three-for-one price forever. We can have a cable phone which makes long-distance free and we could keep our same phone number. We went for it and more often then not, our phone doesn't work because the Internet is out. No Internet no phone - something they neglected to tell us. I march to the neighbors, who also still have a land-line and call tech support. Being that I am at the neighbor's it is hard for tech support to fix my computer because I am not in-house to push whatever buttons they tell me to. They need a cell phone number, well; I don't have a cell phone. The tech guy is shocked, even street people have cell phones, what is wrong with you lady? We cannot send a tech guy out without him calling your cell-phone number to let you know he is coming. I will be home, just send him out... can't do it. I go buy a cell phone and call them back. Unfortunately, I spend twenty minutes on hold and have barely enough time to give them my new cell phone number before all my minutes are gone.

Tech support is happy because now the tech guy can call me although it will go to voice mail, but since they assume I got the message, they are allowed to drive in my driveway and fix my computer and phone. I was just informed that they do not make tape players - or tapes for that matter and I am going have to transition to an MP3 player - I don't even know what that is. So now that I am tape-player-less I drive along happily talking or singing to myself; no one knows the difference, they think I am on my cell-phone. I can talk to myself, tell jokes, and laugh out loud in the aisle of the grocery store and no one gives me a second look. Cell phones are a wonderful invention, you can be a totally insane person and people just think you are on your phone.

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