Family

---

I am a Christian wife and mother . Together my husband and I share four children, ages 12,12,13 and 15. I have two daughters ages 12 and 15 from a previous marriage and he has a son and daughter ages 12 and 13 from a previous marriage. My children have always been very important to me and I struggle daily to raise them with Christian morals and values. I hope that you find the story I am about to share with you informative in some sort of way. Regardless of your financial status, relationship status, or color we are all at risk of being targeted by social services.

It was last October. Fall is my favorite time of year. One of the reasons being I suffer from manic depression and seasonal disorder. Fall is a transitional phase for me. I love the change in weather and I simply feel better.
My eldest daughter Cassie had just entered high school the month before. I had decided a year earlier that I would homeschool my children. She wanted to attend high school and we agreed that we would give it a try. At this time she had a boyfriend. This young man comes from a family with problems. Evidently the parents do not get along well and they do not appear to have God in their lives. Cassie has always been in church. She has always participated in the choir and loves to sing. This is a talent that she has been blessed with. She had invited her boyfriend to attend church with her and he did go on occasion. Eventually she did not want to go anymore and stopped attending all together. She also lost her desire to sing. Once she started public school I noticed she did not have any friends. If she did have friends call , her boyfriend would become very angry with her and make her feel guilty. She began to display attitudes and mood changes I had not seen before in her. Cassie is a very pretty young lady. Not only is she beautiful but her personality and kindness literally make her shine. She was not in school long before she had lots of boys calling her. There was one or two in particular that she became fond of. She wanted to break up with her boyfriend so that she could be free to talk to other boys and have the opportunity to have fun with her friends.Unfortunatly this young man did not want the same thing. He had become very possesive of Cassie and wanted her all to himself. Her dad and I tried to explain to her on several occasions that she needed to have other friends. She was simply to young to be tied down to one boy. This boy had a way of making her feel guilty and told her that he loved her and he could not be without her. In the mean time another young man called her and even stopped by to visit her one afternoon. I could tell that he sparked her interest. She was giggly and bubbly when she talked to him on the phone. Well, it was not long before her boyfriend got word that she was talking to someone else. I explained to her that she needed to break up with him if she was interested in talking to and seeing other boys. She tried to do this and her boyfriend would not accept it. Feeling guilty for hurting his feelings she wrote a note to him telling him that she had to break up with him because we made her do it, and that he dad had threatened her with a belt if she did not. Well it just so happened that the boyfriends sister had also befriended Cassie. She was a senior and worked as an aid in the office part of the day. Evidently he told his sister what Cassie had said and she in turn went to the guidance counselor. The whole situation began and escaladed from there. Thinking that this would solve the problem between her and her boyfriend and that he would not be mad at her anymore, she told them what they wanted to hear. That afternoon she came home from school and told us what had happened. When I heard the word social services, I lost it. We tried to explain to her that this was not a game and that social services does not take this sort of thing lightly. She adivised us that she told them that everything was fine. She also explained to me that she had told them she was worried about me because I had been sick and was taking medication for bi-polar disorder. They asked her if I took my medication like I was supposed to and she told them she thought so, but sometimes I did not take some of it. The medicine she was referring to was my klonopin which is a nerve pill. I only take it as needed. I knew at that moment something was going to happen. We grounded her for lying about the breaking up issue and went on with the rest of our evening. Well, the next morning social service's called on her at school. She spoke with them and explained to them how angry we were about what had happened.This seemed to have sparked their interest even further which inclined them to pay a visit to my home. Earlier that morning Cassie had called my mother to ask her if she could stay with her for a couple of days. My mother called me and I knew immediatly that something was wrong. I went up to the school and checked her out. No sooner than we got home, social services pulled up in the driveway. They came to the door and advised me that they needed to speak to me regarding some allegations of physical abuse. The young woman had a deputy sheriff with her. I asked her if I had a choice and she replied no. I let her in but immediatly called my mother to come over. The first thing she wanted to do was speak to my children. She took them off one by one and spoke with them. This lasted for what seemed like hours. I was devastated and in tears that this was happening to me. After she spoke with the children she spoke to me. She began asking me about the belt used to spank my children. She asked me about my illness and my medications. After this ended it was decided it would be best if my children went to my mothers house for the night. My husband was at work and she needed to speak with him before she could do anything else. Before she left she wrote out a family plan that referred to things that I needed to do in order to keep my children. I had to sign this paper. She made arrangements for my husband and I to meet with her at her office the next day. This was the longest night of my life. Even though my mother had my children and I knew they were safe, my heart was breaking. The next morning we went to the office and met with her. After explaining the situation to her we were advised that the kids could come home. She still wanted us to follow the family plan, under go testing and attend parenting classes. She advised us she would be in touch to let us know the outcome and when and where all of this would take place.Over the next several days I lived on the computer. I researched all of the information I possibly could on this sort of thing. I wanted to know what my rights were and what I did or did not have to do. One of the first things that I did was call social services and advise them I wanted a copy of everything that they had on file regarding this case. The social worker questioned this. I told her I was speaking with an attorney and that I wanted it. I also asked her what I was being charged with . She advised me that I needed to slow down and not get overly excited that nothing had actually been done here. I explained to her that something had been done. My privacy and my rights have been violated as well as my children's and I want to know why. As strange as this may seem, my story ended here. I never heard another word from them. I have lived every day of my life since then in fear that they would knock on my door again regarding this nightmare. I recently got the nerve up a few days ago to call them, one year later. She advised me that nothing was ever substantiated and the case was closed. I thought it was very proffesional of them to let me know this. I would like to share with you the information that I obtained during this ordeal . I wish I had known these things before I was falsely accused. Should you receive a visit from social services this is what you should/should not do.
1) They must have a warrant in order to enter your home, unless there is abuse taking place at that moment and someone is in danger. Often they will come with law enforcement to intimidate you, if they do not have a warrant ask them to leave. If need be, show them your children at the door , let them see that they are alive and unharmed. Again, you do not have to let them in without a warrant, or a court order.
2) If you do choose to let them in. Call someone you know and trust to sit in with you as a witness. Do not speak to them or allow them to speak to your children until they get there.
3) Do not allow them to speak to your children without you being present, they do not have this right. It is a violation of your childrens rights. I later found out that the worker asked my children repeatedly if they wanted to live here or if they would like to live somewhere else. DO NOT allow them to remove your children from your presence.
4) Do not allow the workers to wander through your home. Keep them in one room, preferably close to the door. They will be looking for reasons to find you an unsuitable parent.
5) Do not sign or agree to any sort of family plan. Advise them that if you have not been charged with anything then you are not guilty of anything. If they insist, ask them to leave it with you and you will have an attorney look at it with you.
6) If they insist that your children be removed temporarily. DO insist that they be placed with a family member or friend. Do not allow them to place your children in foster care.
7) Insist that they provide you with all of the information pertaining to your case and the allegations made against you.
8) Speak with an attorney.
9) Get friends, church members and members of the community who know you. Child abusers do not have credentials. Have these people write a letter of character for you and have it notorized. Have these with you before your next meeting with them.
10) DO not allow them to intimidate you. They will say and do anything to scare you into doing what they want you to do and say.
Lastly and most importantly: advise your children not to speak to or discuss any of this with anyone unless you are with them. Call the schools, day care's etc. Tell them that your children are not allowed to be interviewed by anyone without your consent. Tell them if they are they will be liable for a lawsuit.
I hope that this will help someone should they ever be in this situation. I never dreamed that I would be. I still have nightmares and so do my children. Never again will they be able to trust anyone who is supposed to help them. If you would like more information please feel free to contact me. I will be happy to assist you any way that I can. [email protected] God Bless you and yours.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE