Grief

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I lost the future I had planned, yet I have not lost the future God has always had planned. When I focus on all that could have and should have been in my life, I cannot focus on all that still will be. If I truly believe that God is sovereign and gracious, I have to believe that His word is true: He will never leave me or forsake me(John 10:28), he has plans to prosper me and give me a future (Jeremiah 29:11), he is my protector (Psalm 91:4), he longs to give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4)…

I cannot focus on two things at once. I have to choose what the eyes of my heart will daily focus on. I can either focus on God’s promises, allowing Him to bring His truth into perspective and clarity, or I can focus on all that is seemingly “lost” and struggle to make sense of the God’s truth through the haze. My daily choice affects my heart’s vision, and my heart’s vision affects the state of my spirit/attitude. It is in this choice that my heart has the opportunity to heal with God’s gift of hope in full clarity.

There is a time and a season for everything: a time for birth and a time for death, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to gain and a time to lose…Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. If we truly believe these words then we must accept that God does is fact allow things in our lives that are more than we ourselves can handle. The truth that we can rest in is that “all you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he will never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it”(I Corinthians 10:13). Even the apostle Paul experienced sorrow and difficulties that seemed far too much for him to bear. In desperation he cried out to God, “We are under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life” (1 Corinthians 1:9). If God allowed Paul to experience far more than he could handle, then why do we believe that we are any different? God does not promise that he will not give us more than we can handle, but he does promise to be there with us and strengthen us in our weakest moments of despair, pain, and sorrow.

Paul learned that “When I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10). As we go through life and experience chapters of grief and pain, we have a choice to either allow ourselves to focus on the sorrow, or on the promises and never ending love of God. When we understand that the sorrow makes us weak, but that weakness allows God to fill us more with his strength and peace, then we are able to shine brighter through our circumstances. We are called to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). No matter what our circumstances are we are told to rejoice and praise God. When we realize that this is not because God is unloving , uncaring, or self centered; but in fact because he knows that we will only find true healing by focusing our hearts on him, then we see this as a gift. It is when we take our focus off ourselves, our pain, and our plans, that we are set free to see his purpose and his perfect plan for our lives. “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9), or as translated by The Message: “We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.” When we truly understand God’s heart, to give us his absolute best for our lives, even through the pain; we are able to rest in his “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

It is up to us if we will let our heart focus on the pain of our lives, or instead, the promises of God. Our choice determines the amount of grace and healing that can flow into the biggest holes in our hurting heart, and make us whole again. “God made my life (heart) complete when I placed all the pieces before him” – Psalm 18:20

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