Miracle Stories

The Unfading Dream

by Stanley McMahon
02/04/04
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The Unfading Dream

“What’s your name?” is a common enough question. It asks us something that is essential to our identity. But what if you are known simply as “Child number 50”? What does that do to you? As far as the person responsible for the communal wardrobe at the orphanage was concerned, that’s who Alberto was – Child No.50. That’s what was written in faded ink on the tabs of his clothes to identify his from those of the other children.

So, how do you get from being an anonymous identity to becoming part of a family, loved and appreciated for who you are? Maybe that’s a question that is not just limited to those who experience a precarious start in life; maybe that’s what we are all asking.Either way, what is required is a miracle of love and some divine intervention. And that’s just what happened here…

Family is a big factor in the Sicilian culture and having one is an essential, but you can’t choose which family you are born into. That’s something that God does for you. In Alberto’s case he was born the second of eight children. Carmela, his older sister had been born with a severe handicap and was unable to develop the normal capacities. With Alberto and Carmela to cope with, his mum found it difficult enough.

His dad was frequently absent, having to go to Northern Italy to seek work. But things went from bad to worse as the young family moved into a one room “apartment” that was little more than a garage. Things were grim and difficult to manage with another baby born (Loredana) and one (Marcella) on the way in quick succession.

Four children under normal circumstances are quite a challenge, but add to the scenario no electric and two parents who have turned to alcohol for comfort and the misery is compounded. Something had to be done. As the family worked with the social services, Alberto and the other siblings were sent to a college run by the Catholic Church. Only Carmela stayed at home.

By now he was four and life was not being very kind to him. But Alberto was proving to be quite a handful and never quite settled in. His mum continued in the extreme situation and finally another house was found, this time fit for human habitation. Alberto was able to get home at the weekends but by now new “boyfriends” and “girlfriends” were on the scene. Carmelo, Maria Grazia, Giuseppe and Marco were borne into the family in quick succession but relationships were worsening.

Finally the authorities decided that enough was enough and Marco was taken away and put in the same college almost from birth. Alberto’s first year at school reflected the turmoil that was his family life. He was decided about one thing; the teachers were going to share something of what life was like for him.

In the Italian schooling system, the children have to do exams to pass from year to year. With his mum and dad too taken by their own difficulties, encouragement for Alberto’s academic capabilities seemed to be low on the list of priorities. Not surprisingly, Alberto failed to progress to the second year and had to repeat the first.

Now Alberto has that wonderful characteristic of the survivor – determination. This year was going to be different. Against all the odds, he actually did pass year one this time – but with one devastating reward. He was sent to another college. To add insult to injury, the college came equipped with its own school, so he didn’t even have to travel.

Life was becoming more and more dysfunctional for Alberto but he still longed for home. Occasionally he would get to visit with his family but eventually mum and dad separated. Carmela was sent to a “special needs” school in the absence of someone qualified to look after her.

As the months passed and became years, family ties were weakening but hope for a return to normal family life was never far from Alberto’s mind. Mum went to live with someone else as did Dad. So, if they couldn’t be together as a family maybe he could go and live with his mum in the new situation. But the invite never came.

Alberto became known as a difficult child and it was hard to find a placement for him, even for respite. When he was twelve years old and still in his fifth year after further academic struggles, things began to change for Alberto. It was coming up to Easter 1997.

Down the mountain, in the town, a new Irish couple had come to work in an evangelical church. As they got to know their neighbours, they met one lady who worked in the college. The lady began to make known the needs of the children and was always looking for families to help out with the children at holiday times and the occasional weekend.

One thing led to another and the couple said they would be available to take someone over Christmas ‘96. The staff were excited about this and the couple went up to meet their potential lodger. The only stipulation they had was that the child had to be a boy because they already had another guest coming to stay over Christmas – a young American male. Strangely enough things just didn’t work out and the bureaucratic difficulties put paid to the whole idea.

Towards Easter things were getting ever busier in the little church with preparations well under way. Then out of the blue, a call from the social services. Would Stanley and Carol be willing to take on a visitor over Easter? They pointed out the fact that it may not be suitable for a child with so many things going on. But that was okay, the child they had in mind didn’t fuss about being surrounded by people and excitement. Reluctantly the couple agreed and a brief interview was set up with the social worker.

The child’s name was Alberto, a boisterous young boy with a difficult history. From the first meeting Alberto saw something special in Stanley and Carol and a possibility of something good, (or maybe just another bitter disappointment.) Reciprocally, they were up for the challenge and looked forward to getting to know and in some way help this child whose life had been a catalogue of tragedies. Only God knew and had planned what lay ahead.

The first weekend was a great success, if not without its own challenges. Alberto had found boys of his own age who, most importantly, played soccer. The next weekend was scheduled for a soccer match. Please, could he come again? The answer was, of course, yes.

One weekend led to another and Alberto became a frequent visitor and had his own room, which was a great novelty. Soon Spring became Summer and with it some decisions. What would happen to Alberto over the Summer? He couldn’t stay in the college and he was becoming more and more attached to the family that spoke Italian with an accent.

Another call from the social workers. This time it was big news about something that Alberto had mentioned in passing. He had written an essay on “The Family”. It was a province-wide competition which had been organised by the local affiliation of one of the national political parties. The great attraction was the prize. A trip to a highly acclaimed theme park in Northern Italy. Alberto had just won it!

It had not been an easy task to persuade Alberto to enter the competition but with the help of his teacher, he put pen to paper. The knock-on effects were phenomenal. Suddenly everyone was interested in Alberto from the local politicians to the social workers, journalists and teachers. Now he had to make a choice. Getting to the theme park would mean flying and that meant taking someone along as chaperone. There were two tickets available for his accompanying adults.

He chose the couple who were at the centre of his new hopes and the subject of his essay – Stanley and Carol. The legal ramifications were such that a court decree would have to be granted in order to take the boy out of the province. These thins usually take weeks if not months because they require the convocation of councils of judges.

In Alberto’s case, everything was sorted out in a matter of days. This then was the key to Alberto spending the Summer with his new family. His case was reviewed and as his relationship with his new “mum and dad” became consolidated, so too the courts decided that it was in the best interests of Alberto to stay in his new family. One more thing remained. He wanted to become a “real” part of the family.

A new life merited a new identity. It took three years from the Easter of 1997 and many miracles to see Alberto adopted. Early on in the relationship they had decided to pray for all of his brothers and sisters to be adopted. They are now all adopted except Carmela who remains in care, largely unaware of life around her. Even from the earliest days Alberto affectionately called Carol and Stanley, “Mum and Dad”; but the reality is always better than the dream.