Testimonies

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For
unto us
a Child
is born.
Unto us,
a Son
is given.
[Isaiah 9:6]
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"He made me
feel like,
I had failed
a GRADUATE COURSE,
Jesus!"

[GENTLE NOD.]

"Yeah."
(Smirk!)
"Then, he
made SPORT
of.....TELLING,
everybody!

[PATIENTLY LISTENING.]

"....All of my FAULTS!
And....FAILURES!
And....OTHER STUFF,
TOO!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Even.....
the SEXUAL!
IT WAS DISGUSTING!"
(Spit over elbow.)

[GENTLE GAZE.]

"It was NAUSEATING!"
(Spit over shoulder.)
"Man.......
that whole
thing...
was a....
FLA'SCHLIT'CHEL*!"

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"Why are
you telling
Me,
this,
child?"

(Irritated squint.)
(Gaze up at ceiling.)
"I thought,
You LIKED
to hear,
about stuff...
like THIS,
JESUS?"

[SMILE!]

(Frown!)
"What do the
GENTILES,
TALK...to Ya,
ABOUT?"

[PATIENT GAZE.]

"What: You
don't expect
me....to start
SINGIN',
to You?
DO YOU,
JESUS?"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]

"I know...
that the Gentiles...
like to do that."
(Solemn frown!)
"But....I don't
know,
if the Father
has told You,
Jesus;
but, I
CAN'T sing."

[PATIENT NOD.]
"I know,
My child."

(Frown.)
(Glance away.)
"You don't expect
me to say somethin'
in HEBREW...
DO YOU?"

[CHUCKLING.]

"Cuz.....that
was another
one,
of my big
FAILURES."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Except,
nobody wrote
to their ATTORNEY,
about it....
at least..."
(Squirm.)
"I HOPE not."

[PATIENT WHISPER.]
"Oy vey."

(Laughing!)
"Ha! Ha!
That's FUNNY,
isn't IT?"
(Laugh!)

[SORROWFUL GLANCE.]
"No,
My child."

"Aw!
Come ON!
Sure, it IS!"

[PATIENT FROWN.]

"Alright!
ALRIGHT!"
(Glance away,
embarrassed.)
"I'll try to think
of somethin',
more.....
more,
GENTI'LISH..
to say."

[FIRM FROWN.]

(Wave hands,
impatiently,
at the ceiling.)
"Okay!
OKAY!
I TOLD YA,
I was kind'a
SASSY,
with the LORD!"

"Who do you
think,
I AM,
child?"

(Look away.)
(Sip last drop,
of Walmart Lemon
Twist Soda.)
(Burp.)
(Shrug.)
(Get up.)
(Walk over,
to set plastic bottle
in recycling basket.)
(Frown.)
(Look up at kitchen ceiling.)
"I'm not SURE."

[PATIENTLY LISTENING.]

(Whiny yell.)
"I'm really not SURE!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

(Irritable, whiny yell.)
"I'm SORRY!
I'm just bein'...
HONEST!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
[LOVING GAZE.]

"What d'Ya
EXPECT,
JESUS?"
(Shrugging.)
(Spreading hands wide.)
(Woeful gaze.)
(Sorrowful whine.)
"I was just a little..
JEWISH KID!"

[SMILE!]
[NODDING.]

"Heck!
I used to think,
You were just a
little.....
blond,
BABY IN A MANGER!"

[NODDING.]
[INTENSE GAZE.]
"And,
what
AM I,
now,
child?"

"Somethin' MORE."
(Shrug.)
"You're just VERY
CONFUSING....is all."
(Woeful squint up at
the ceiling.)
"This isn't.....
another Life COURSE,
I'm gonna FAIL...
IS it?"

[SMILE.]
[TENDER VOICE.]
"No,
My beloved.
[WHISPER.]
No."
**********************
For
unto us
a Child
is born.
Unto us
a Son
is given.
And
the government
will be
upon His shoulder.
And His name
shall be called
Wonderful,
Counselor,
Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.
[Isaiah 9:6]

_________________
*Creative Yiddish.
If you're Jewish,
you're allowed
to do that.

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