Short Stories

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Now,
there were
seven brothers.
The first took a wife;
and dying,
he left no offspring.
And the second took
her; and he died....
and, the third likewise.
....Therefore,
in the resurrection,
when they rise,
whose wife will she be?
[Mark 12:20-23]
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(Two old friends are
taking a walk, down
the Streets-Made-a-Gold.
One of the friends keeps
tripping over her long, gauzy
wrinkled gown,
and squinting down at the
Street-Made-A-Gold, and
complaining how it's way
too shiny, and slippery.
The other, perfectly serene
in her New Environment,
is trying to buck up her
old friend: talking
patiently, and kindly.
Suddenly, the kvetchy one
stops short in her tracks...
gasping aloud.)
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"O, my GOD!"

(Jeri looks down the
Path-Of-Gold, and shakes
her perfectly coiffed halo.)
"I don't SEE
Him,
Julie!"
(Quiet, serence voice.)
"I think He's in the
Throne Room,
right now.....
listening to the News-
and-World-Report."

(Julie irritably waves
away her angelic friend's
pronouncement. Just
then, Julie's halo falls
down, over her plump face.
She mumbles a curse, and
impatiently pushes it back up,
over her high forehead.)
"No!
NO!
I was makin' an EXCLAMATION!
An EXCLAMATION!
LOOK!
LOOK!"
(Loud whisper.)
"OVER THERE!"

"What?
What are you lookin' at,
Julie? I don't see ANYTHING?
Just the usual....."
(Serene, happy voice!)
"Just the Trees....and,
the Flowers, and
the Birds.....and
the Beautiful Street-Of-Gold..."

(Julie impatiently gathers
up her long, gauzy gown, and slipping
and sliding on the Street-A-Gold,
quickly runs behind one of
the Beautiful Trees, and
ducks behind it.)
"DAMN!
What's HE doin' HERE?"

(Kindly patient voice.)
"Who?
Julie, dear: are you ALRIGHT?"

(Ornery shout.)
"Hell........NO!"

(Jeri, totally at home
in her own gauzy gown,
gracefully glides over
the Golden Path,
to her friend,
who's now peering, and
squinting, around
one of the Beautiful Trees.)
"Shhhh, Julie!
I don't remember you
CURSING, down on EARTH!
What's happened....?"

"Oh....POOUIE!
DAMNIT!"
(Spit!)

(Jeri, very perplexed,
and somewhat aghast,
whispers.)
"What's the MATTER?"

"THERE!
Over,
THERE!
ECH!
What the hell's
HE doin'
HERE?"

"WHO?"

(Fuming and waving puny
fists about.)
(Whisper loudly.)
(Cuss, once more.)
"My ex....HUSBAND!
Right over THERE!"

(Jeri curiously peers, also,
around the Big Beautiful Tree.)
(Squint, but with curiosity,
and not with nearsightedness,
like her friend*.)
"Oh......HIM?
Is THAT,
who you're talking ABOUT?"

(Impatient whisper.)
(Wide-eyed glare.)
(Halo slips down, again.)
"YES!
YES!
DAMNIT!
HOW d'you keep these
DAMN THINGS ON?"

"Shhhh!
Stand STILL!
Let ME fix it!"

"DAMNIT!
I thought we weren't
gonna have to SEE....
each
OTHER,
up HERE?"
(Mumble!)

(Soft sigh.)
(Taking a glittery-bobbi-pin,
out of her gauzy-gown-pocket,
Jeri patiently tries
to up-right her
friend's halo.)
"Well.....I don't really know...."
(Soft, gentle shrug.)
"I mean.....it's POSSIBLE.."

"What d'ya MEAN?"
(Julie's gauzy gown is
now stuck to a piece of
bark on the Big Beautiful Tree.)
"This STUPID GOWN!
WHY do we have to WEAR
THESE THINGS,
ANYWAY?"
(Mumble!)

"Calm DOWN!"
(Jeri patiently pats her
frazzled, shvitzing** friend,
on the arm.)
"Everything's...FINE!"

"The HECK, it IS!
I don't wanna see HIM!
ECH!
I thought I was supposed
'ta be in HEAVEN, NOW?
Why do I have 'ta see HIM,
FOR?"

(Calm shrug.)
"I don't KNOW, Julie........"
(Gentle shrug.)

"I'm goin' to the THRONE
ROOM,
RIGHT NOW!
DAMNIT!"
(Stomp right foot.)
(Grab onto Big Beautiful Tree,
stumbling on long-gauzy-gown.)

"No, NO...JULIE!
You better calm DOWN,
first! And....
say a little PRAYER!"

"Ta HECK, with THAT!"
(Shake puny fist, again.)
(Irritably grab both ends
of gown, tying a big gauzy
knot, in it.)
"Which ways,
that.....darn,
THRONE ROOM?"

"Oy vey."
(Jeri gently sighs,
and patiently trying to
fix her old friend's gown,
trots off,
following her friend's
clumsy footsteps,
on to the Throne Room.)
(Sigh.)
"Just remember.....to
take your shoes off,
before you go in..."
(Sigh.)
*************************
And
the street
of the city
was pure gold,
like transparent
glass.
[Revelation 21:21]

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*In Heaven, the author
has to keep her nearsightedness:
as punishment - for all her
kvetching to the Lord.
**Yiddish: sweating like
a nervous pig.

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