Humor

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Recently, our president set forth a goal of putting people on the moon by the year 2020. Which only goes to show how behind the times a politician can be.

In my book, the only difference between a Republi-can and a Democrat is spelling. Some can spell and some can't.

Others cast a spell, but that's another fairy-tale story.

For years, I've thought about putting people on the moon. In fact, I have quite a long list of people I would like to see go to the moon.

My problem, to date, has been how to get said people to said moon.

Thankfully, our president is busy working on that particular detail and the estimated cost of such a project is billions of dollars - maybe even a trillion dollars. In the last 20 years, I have only raised $1.79 for the project.

I don't know where our government is going to get this "maybe even a trillion dollars" for the project. (As I write, I have instinctively placed my left hand on the back of my trousers, protecting my wallet. It's thinner than it used to be.)

Every time I saved up $1.79 for my moon project, I always found something or someone needing the money more.

There might be a better use for that "maybe even a trillion dollars" ticket. For example a trillion dollars could buy every man, woman and child in America 1,800 Big Macs.

This would be a Big Mac every day of the year for almost five years.

I don't know, but if I really put my thinking cap on, I probably could come up with three, maybe even four, other worthy projects - like my retirement.

But what would the American dream be if the government didn't spend our money faster than they can collect it from us. I'm surprised someone in government hasn't figured a way of getting to my money before I earn it.

I shouldn't say this too loud, someone in government might hear me.

Naa. Nobody in government listens to the people. It's hard enough to get government people to work as it is.

Can you imagine how much less they would get done if they actually had to take the time to listen to the people?

The only time they seem to listen to the people is when they want to be elected to some office. Once they are "in office," they seem to forget about the people who helped put them there.

This is not sour grapes on my part. I've another fruit in mind - raspberries.

I'm not against putting people on the moon and eventually Mars. No siree. In fact, I have some suggestions about how to populate these heavenly spheres.

Here is a partial list of some of the people I would send to the moon:

Politicians

Anyone expressing a desire to run for any political office should be immediately transferred to the moon, for as long as it takes to cure him of his "political measles." After all, it could be catchy. This sort of thing should be nipped in the bud.

In addition, every politician thinking of running for another term in office should be given a free pass to the moon to mull it over thoroughly.

He or she could return to earth only after they promise to give up politics and take up legitimate work, benefiting mankind, or even womankind.

For every politician accomplishing good, 75 others undo all the good done.

Hollywood Stars

The only difference between a politician and a Hollywood actor is one acts up and the other acts like a fool. Don't ask me which is which.

Most Hollywood stars are up in the air about something or other, and I think if they spent, oh say, the rest of their lives on the moon, they may do the rest of us a world of good.

Televangelists

There is a major difference between a Politician and a Televangelist; however, I don't know what it is.

Both are after your money. Both promise you the moon. So, I say, let them go to the moon.

I think there should be a rule somewhere, that if you can't afford to be on television you can't go on television. Moreover, if you go on television, don't talk about money all the time.

According to some of them, every other word in the Bible is money.

I'm tired of some glittery preacher telling me to give him money, so God can give me money. Let's cut out the middleman.

If these preachers want us to look up to them, send them to the moon and I'll gladly look up to them.

Service

The one thing missing in our generation is good old-fashioned service. The joy and privilege of serving others has been superseded by self-grandiosity. People are serving self, rather than their fellowman.

The Apostle Peter admonished Christians in this area of service.

"As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen." (1 Peter 4:10-11 KJV.)

We need in this generation politicians, actors and preachers who have cultivated to the point of perfection the art of servant-hood.

The Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road in Silver Springs Shores. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores and can be contacted by calling 687-4240. Rev. Snyder's new book, "Romance Around A Parsonage Fireplace," is now available. Call for details. His e-mail address is [email protected]. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

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