Humor

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The Saga Of Bush And Osama
©

by

Stephen A. Peterson


After the capture of Saddam Hussein, Bush and Osama decided to settle their interests and differences once and for all. In an Army tent in Southern Russia, Bush and Osama declared a truce to worldwide terror hostilities. They further decided to settle the whole issue with a single cat fight. They agreed to breed or come up with the best fighting cat in the world as a way to settle the situation. The cat owner who won the fight would be entitled to control the world. They agreed that within 48 months each would come back with their cat and do battle.

Osama found the biggest, meanest Bengal tiger in the world and bred it with the meanest Siberian Tiger. He selected only the biggest, swiftest and potentially most lethal and aggressive kitten in the litter, fed him a special diet of milk at first then the highest quality of meats and vitamins. This tiger grew up to be the meanest, biggest, swiftest and most aggressive tiger Osama and his men had ever seen. Its cage required bars 10 inches in diameter thick as this big cat would tear anything less apart. This cat was so mean no one would get near its cage and live to tell the story.

When the day for the competition arrived, Bush showed up with a strange looking cat. That cat had the longest tail Osama had ever seen in his life! However, everyone present felt sorry Bush. So much so that the United Nations peace keeping force of 2,500 personnel took bets against the Bush cat 2,499 to 1. When the cages were opened, the Bush cat emerged slowly from its cage. Osama’s cat leapt out and quickly charged the Bush cat. However, when Osama’s cat got close enough to Bush’s cat, the Bush cat ‘s jowls extended, opened up its mouth and swallowed Osama’s cat in one big gulp. Osama’s cat was gone except for a small piece of fur from the cat’s tail. Stunned and bewildered Osama approached Bush. As Osama shook Bush's hand, he was still in total disbelief. “George. I don’t understand. How did this happen? For 4 years, I bred the biggest, meanest cat in the world. And in an instance, he’s no more!! How did your cat do it”?

“Shoot” Bush responded, “All’s I did was to go to Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeons, hired them for 4 years and got a Florida Gator from my brother Jeb to look like that big kitty you see over there!!!, Nice Kitty! Ain’t she, Osama!”

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