Testimonies

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I recently made a pilgrimage to my hometown of Topeka, Kansas. The purpose of my journey was to visit family and see old friends. But on the way home, God dropped three simple words in my spirit that would become the theme of my journey . LET IT GO!

I began this letter of experience with the use of an usual word, pilgrimage. The dictionary defines it as the following:

1. Religious journey: a journey to a holy place, undertaken for religious reasons

I use this word because that's what this visit home evolved into, a spiritual awakening that would propel me back into the presence of God. Let me explain, I was born and raised in Topeka, Ks. Born the second child to Clarence and Anna Grubbs, but lovingly raised by John and Helen Kingcannon in permanent foster care. As a young child growing up with two last names one for church and the other for school, I was always curious as to why I wasn’t with my birth parents and what happen to cause the disconnect between parents and children. But no one had the answers that I could understand or wanted to hear. So the seeds of hatred and resentment began to grow in my heart and shape my persona.

They abandoned me, was the excuse that I lived behind and that justified my hatred and stabilized the breach between me and family. So year after year the desire to love and seek out my family became less and less important. The ability to avoid conversations that would transition into moments of reflection concerning the family outside of my designated circle would be deflected at all cost. This was the selfish and guarded existence that I called my life. WOW!

Now at the age of 42, with a beautiful supportive spirit lead wife and two wonderful children and one grand-daughter, I found myself living as a hypocrite. As a Pastor I teach forgive and you will be forgiven. But I wasn't practicing what I was preaching, and it was preaching without conviction. So I stop teaching forgiveness. What you don't hear or say, you don't have to apply, Right? Wrong!

Something had to give and it would ultimately be my will, way and emotions. So I spoke to my wife and told her that I need go through Topeka (you bible scholars will get that). In my preparations for going home, an increasing sense of urgency began to overwhelm me. And it was then that I knew that this was not going to be an ordinary visit. But I could never have imagined what God had in store for me.

Once I flew into Kansas City I had a forty-five minute drive to Topeka, that's when God's plan became clear. With three small but powerful words my steps for the next five days were ordered. "Let It Go!
Please understand that up until this moment "I" had planned out who I was going to see and what I was going to say to them. I was going to give this select group of people a piece of my mind that I had saved on to for over thirty years. But God said simply. "Let It Go"!

But God these people hurt me, and some even abandoned me. They deserve, no they need to hear what I have to say. I need to get this off my chest. It's because of them that I am the way I am.

But wait, if God had not in his divine plan allowed the decisions and the consequences they created to happen who and where would I be? Everything , no matter how crazy or unfair it seemed was a part of God's plan. Yes, my selfish desires and free will thinking put me in some situations that have caused this journey called life to be harder than God had intended and possibly could and should have destroyed me.

Psalm 23:6 Says; Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

That means, in every situation HE has our back. goodness being grace, that which we can not earn or deserve is given. Mercy, Judgement or consequences which we should recieve is with held.


So, upon arriving home I quickly found my dad and reconciled with him. There was no discussion of the past, hashing out what happened or what should of happen. But it was simply embracing the reality of now and the opportunity to enjoy time with my dad. How? By Letting It Go! The next day God gave me the opportunity I wanted for over twenty years to sit down with my big brother, but with a different result. It was a time of expressing the hurt, hatred and resentment that had been my existence for many years. And I asked my big brother to forgive me for my selfishness and for driving a wedge between us through hatred.

Later that week there were two other individuals that I was blessed to reconcile with, one of which whom had emotional, physically and sexually abused me, but God said “Let It Go” thus destroying the design of the enemy. And the freedom and liberty in Christ that was restored to me was overwhelming.

Why am I sharing this you ask? Because the Body of Christ needs to let some things go. We have been holding on to some junk for generations and it has hindered our ability to show love effectively. We have friends as well as family that we have discarded. Yes! They hurt you or maybe broke your trust. And? We are in the reconciliation business, which means pushing beyond trivial stuff and forgiving. Does that mean that the friendship or relationship will be restored back to it original state? Maybe or maybe not, but our responsibility exceeds beyond our individual relationships. It's about the fullness of relationship one can have with God through Jesus Christ.

Remember; Matt. 6:14-15 says; For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

The bottom line is to "Let It Go”! And see the full potential of your life.

Peace.

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