Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: SWEET HOUR OF PRAYER (don’t write about the song) (04/30/15)
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TITLE: December Rain | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jennifer Champion
04/30/15 -
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Although it has been a year since Jack died, I have not been able to bring myself to walk into the study again; all I can do is stand at the door and turn on the light from a switch on the wall. It was me that found his body and called 911. He had shot himself in the very chair that sits behind the desk now. I wonder about his last moments before he pulled the trigger and if he cried out to God. Just as I am about to walk out of the room, something catches my eye on the bookshelf. It is a piece of paper between two bibles. I don’t remember seeing it before and timidly walk over to get it. I slide it out and it is an envelope with my name on it. It is in Jack’s messy handwriting. I used to joke and tell him that he should have been a doctor instead of a barber. I leave the room and take the envelope to the kitchen where I sit down at the breakfast table to open it.
With shaking hands I open it and find a letter dated the day he died. It read:
Brenda,
I am so sorry for what you will go through. I know you will be the one to find me and that it will not be pleasant. I know your pain will be great but I need you to understand the depths of mine. The best day in my life was when Amanda was born and the worst was when she died. You are stronger than me Brenda and was able to move on past her death but I cannot. Every day is agony for me as I past the ditch where her body was found. I am so angry that her killer is alive and out there in the world running free. I feel like a failure that I could not protect our little girl. I want you to know that I love you and have always loved you. I also know that you wonder if I am saved. You have questioned me many times about it, especially since we lost Amanda. Before I wrote this letter to you, I prayed and talked with God. For a solid hour, I poured my heart out to Him and begged Him to stop me from what I am about to do. He did not reach down and take the gun from me so I asked for His forgiveness instead. Brenda, I want you to know that I gave my life to Him today and I will see you in heaven one day. Please forgive me.
Love, Jack
As I folded the letter up and cried, I heard the soft drops of a cold December rain coming down on the metal roof. I shut my eyes and imagined that Jack and Amanda are in heaven sending me drops of love.
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