The Official Writing Challenge
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Such accurate and strong poetic images, I am breathless with taking them all in. Love: We deceive everyone, and ourselves,/Behind veils born of vanity./And long to leave on dusty shelves/The shame of our calamity. The informal prose contrasts with the formal poetry, underpinning their intent. What a wonder that moment is when we finally accept the outstretched helping hand of God! PM you later, Yeggy
"If only I could clean myself up and save Him from my sin.." I think that touches the heart in many of us. It's so hard to admit our complete helplessness, our inability to save ourselves and just surrender. You captured the experience well.
Loved your descriptions - expressing the deep experience of sin and of salvation. And yet, this is touchable and not intellectualized! Liked this line, which brought the whole discussion down to the bottom line: "I mean… c’mon, how far would Christ go to love a loser like me?"

Lots of "favorite" sections, but enjoyed this one: "My flesh... My accumulated sin...My reckless will...My heart...My mind..." A very holistic commentary. :-)

I almost think the end could have stopped right here: "My knees buckle at the enormity of His grace. I weep." I didn't need the final commentary after that emotional punch. :-)

This leaves me wondering about the call of Christ - "today." Is today, this day, "different" for me, as I follow Him beyond some stronghold? I want to think so.....

This is awesome. You captured the feelings of struggling inside ourselves so well. Then the glorious salvation experience. This deserves a win. Keep writing.
Just wanted to echo Beth's advice; that is, I think you would have rendered the "experience" (conversion) more power if you had ended it sooner.The line/ My knees buckle at the enormity of His grace / provides such touching imagery that the weeping would have been implicit in the statement. A moving account, though, for sure.
Beautiful writing, a skillful combination of poetry and prose, each more well-crafted than the other! You do well with the present tense; not many can pull that off. Marvelous.