The Official Writing Challenge
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I did not expect the sad ending at all. The footnote made the emotion even more intense. It must have been difficult to share this story.
A sad story. Wasn't expecting your ending, caught me a lil off guard. Nice job. God bless.
Great storytelling with a surprise ending...Thanks for sharing this powerful story.
I really thought the guy was going to survive. You surprised me. The beginning dragged just a bit, but by the middle, I was reading furiously, wanting to know what was going to happen next. Well done.
This is really powerful and chilling... like a Christian version of a "Twilight Zone" episode. Well done.
There were a couple of clues that warned me of your ending: cell phone call to home and: [Retired?
You might say that.}

This was well-written. (Wonder who receives drunk drivers into Heaven?)
This will be a winner, I'm sure. It is very well composed and creates a tension that doesn't let up.